To be an Us
by avaatquevale2250
Summary: My version of the One! America has made her decision. She wants to fight for Prince Maxon, but there is a lot standing in her way: the King, the Rebels, and the other Elite, among other things. To become the One, she'll have to learn to play the games royals play, but can she do it without compromising who she is and what she believes in?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi All- Here it is, my version of the One! More at the bottom!**

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><p>The rebel alarm blared in my ears, jolting me from my sleep. The alarm brought back a wave of memories, ones that I couldn't even escape in my dreams. I hadn't heard the alarm since Maxon was hurt… since I almost let it all go down the drain…<p>

I had to get up, to get moving. There was no way I could win him back if I wasn't alive for it. I ran from my room, to the secret entrance that led to the safe room, but it wouldn't budge. I fought and pounded against the entrance but no one came. Had the rebels somehow blocked the entrances? Had they made it into the tunnels that ran to the safe room?

Guards, I had to find some guards.

I ran along the hallways, but I realized how silent everything was. There were no guards on this floor, no shouts or screams, no peppering sounds of gunfire. The alarm was silent as well, so I assumed the rebels must have disconnected it.

I walked downstairs, fear causing my frame to shake. Where was everyone? If the rebels were here, why wasn't there any damage? Where were the guards? As soon as my feet hit the first floor, I started running. Something caught my eye as I skidded to a stop.

A mess of blonde hair, hair that I recognized, had someone pinned to the wall in a small alcove. My cheeks blushed at the memory of Maxon and Celeste, and my heart felt like it was being ripped to pieces.

He didn't trust me.

I had to put some trust in him.

I started to back away. I didn't want Maxon to think I was spying on him. I had to act better, and this was a competition. I had to remember that. I turned, thinking that I must have just been dreaming about the rebel alarm. I started to walk back towards the stairs, misery engulfing me. I expected Maxon was with Celeste again, but it wasn't the voice I heard.

"Maxon, I love you," Kriss whispered breathlessly.

"And I love you, my dear," he responded with a tender tone.

I came to a stop, and my heart hit the floor. I felt like I was getting sent home all over again. My chest turned into a black hole, sucking every single feeling out of me. I wanted to run, to get away from them, but a pair of hands grabbed me, turning me back towards the dreaded couple.

"You never had him, America," Celeste whispered breathlessly in my ear. "You will never be good enough. You ruined everything."

I couldn't argue with her. I regretted all my actions the past few weeks. I deserved it. For breaking Maxon's trust, for ignoring him, for not trusting him… for upsetting the system. I looked away. It hurt too much to see him look at Kriss like that. Celeste grabbed my face, forcing me to watch them.

"Look at what you did, America. You just threw away one boy for one that you could never have. How could the crown Prince of Illea ever love a plain, low-caste thing like you?"

I began thrashing, trying to get away from her. More hands just grabbed me, pulling me down through the darkness. They started to scratch and grab at me, and I simply fought harder.

"No! Let go, let go!"

"Lady America!"

I opened my eyes, a pair of light blue eyes meeting my own. Officer Meadow held my arms, a blush stealing his cheeks. He let go of my arms, taking a tentative step back from my bed.

"L-lady America, I'm terribly sorry, but I heard you scream, and I was concerned…You were having a nightmare, my Lady."

I stared at him in shock, looking around my room in wonder. I was in my bed, the sheets a tangled mess around me. I was covered in sweat, despite the chill in the castle from the winter air. It was dark outside, the stars shining in the night sky. I put my hand on my forehead, wiping away the hair that was stuck there.

"I was asleep? No rebels?"

"No, Lady America. No rebels tonight."

"I'm sorry for worrying you," I muttered quietly. Officer Meadow had been stationed outside of my door all week. Aspen had mysteriously disappeared as soon as I was told I was allowed to stay. He was avoiding me, and I can't say I blamed him. I needed to talk to him, but I didn't dare go looking for him. I felt bad for snapping at him like I had, and he probably wondered what I was still doing here. Looking at Aspen's history, I wanted to go with the avoiding theory.

And Aspen wasn't the only one avoiding me.

"Lady America, may I be frank with you?"

I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn't even realized Officer Meadow was still in my bedroom. I nodded my head, wondering what he could want to tell me. He was very nice and gentlemanly, and from what Lucy had said, he was courting one of the servants in the kitchen.

"I know you've had a rough week, with the events of the Selection and the Report. I know you haven't been sleeping well, but I wanted to tell you that what you did…Well, it was one of the bravest things I had ever seen in my entire life. I know what it's like. I grew up a seven," he finished quietly. He didn't have to say anything further. From the expression on his face, I knew there had been times he had been hungry as well. "Just so you know, you have a lot of people that support you. I hope you win."

With that he left my room, shutting the door quietly behind him. I glanced at my clock, seeing that it was two in the morning. As much as I wanted to go back to sleep, my mind was racing now. I was hot, and like on the first night I was here, I felt claustrophobic.

I climbed out of bed, throwing on some pants and a sweater. As it was getting later in the year, it had gotten a lot cooler. Even the castle had a chill late at night. I threw on my boots, and then poked my head out of the door. Officer Meadow looked sideways at me.

"Something wrong, Lady America?"

"I can't sleep. I need to go for a walk."

He leaned down, a serious expression on his face. "You know it would be unwise to venture outside at this late hour," he whispered out of the side of his mouth. "The King doesn't want the selected roaming the hall so late at night after what happened during the last attack."

"I don't have the best track record for making wise decisions," I muttered. He chuckled at that, bowing as I stepped out of my room.

"If I wanted to go outside to the gardens, I would use the servant's stairs, which happen to be down the hall on the right. If you are not back in an hour, I might have to come looking for you," he warned me.

I mouthed a thank you to him, and he nodded his head, a small smile on his face. I walked downstairs, trying to keep the flurry of thoughts from my mind.

Kriss. Celeste. Elise. And me.

Maxon had been with each of them this week, but I had tried to keep my composure. Every time I saw him with another girl, it ripped me apart on the inside. I had to learn to control my emotions. At first, it had been difficult. I spent the first day with my nose in a book, trying to block the world out. As the week progressed, I started to become numb to it all. He spent the most time with Kriss, which I guess I was as happy as I could be about.

The King had made sure to make his opinion of me known every chance he got. He would cut me down, or make a snide remark, and I did my best to stay polite and calm. It usually ended with me crying myself to sleep, but no one knew it. My maids suspected it, but they were kind enough not to say anything. Lucy just hugged me this morning, and Anne did her best to make sure that my make-up was flawless so no one could tell. I was lonely, and I no longer had anyone to talk to about my fears. I desperately wanted to see Marlee or write a letter to my dad, but I was afraid to do either one. The King was looking for any reason to send me home, so I had to be extra careful. I wanted to see Maxon, but I couldn't seek him out, at least according to the rules. More than once, I found myself at the foot of the stairs leading to the third floor. I would look up at it longingly, but I didn't dare venture there. If Maxon wanted to see me, he would have come. I had to trust that he had a reason.

It was a lot harder than it sounded.

I made it to the garden doors, and the guard nodded at me, opening the door. I will admit that the one positive thing that came from this was that I had apparently earned the favor of the lower castes. The maids, butlers, and guards went out of their way to help or cheer me up. It was nice to know I had made a positive impact in some way. At the same time, it was terrifying. It seemed that I had started something, and all I had done on the report was speak my heart. Granted, I did it to get kicked out, but I also meant what I said. I hated to see suffering.

It was cold, and my breath came out in a cloud as I walked around the garden. I made it to our bench, bringing my knees to my chest. Being outside gave me time to think.

I loved Maxon Schreave. I had thought everything had been so certain with Aspen, and then, my world turned upside down. Maxon made me feel important and beautiful, like I was more than needed. It was such a strange feeling compared to what I had felt for Aspen. I still loved him, and I knew I always would. However, I had learned to live without Aspen Ledger. With Maxon… if it didn't work out, and I ended up married Aspen, I would hold that regret in my heart until the day I died.

I made my choice, and every day since then I had wondered if it was the right one. I knew it had to be, and for Maxon to trust me, I had to place trust in him. Even thinking of him, despite not being able to see or spend time with him, brought a smile to my face. I wanted to be an us with him.

Maxon cared for me, too. He just wasn't sure yet if that was enough, and I couldn't blame him. I hoped that time would heal the wounds I had caused. I had to keep that hope. If I didn't have hope I didn't have anything at all.

My maids and I had come up with a plan. They told me I didn't need to change anything about myself, that obviously Maxon cared deeply about me already. I just needed to be polished and learn the ways of royalty. I had to earn his trust back, and that meant no more being rash and overreacting.

I wanted to prove to him that I wanted to be here, that I could do this. With more free time, I had dove myself into studies. I worked on every aspect that I could. Politics, economics, wars, great minds… every subject I thought I needed to master had become my new obsession. My maids brought me different books, trying to help me as much as possible. Even Silvia, after a few days of being angry at me, started to help me once again. Even before the tears came, I had been reading late into the night, and my maids would fuss every morning over the bags under my eyes. I hadn't been eating much, but with my nerves, I just couldn't stomach much. Maxon had looked at me in concern at breakfast, and I had locked eyes with him. I had hoped beyond hope that he would tug his ear, but King Clarkson gave a grunt, taking Maxon's attention away.

Acting like everything was normal, trying to hide my emotions, was more exhausting that I ever thought possible. I felt like an outcast with the other girls, who were now treading around me like I was a bomb waiting to go off. Celeste only talked to me to make sure that I felt even worse about everything. I gripped my arms, fighting the urge to scream in frustration.

How did I get myself into this mess?

I began to cry, although it was silently. I pressed my head into my knees, gripping them tightly. I was allowed this one moment of weakness, where no one could see. The enormity of my choices came crashing down. The nightmare was simply my deepest fear, that I had messed up beyond any form of repair, come to life. I just had to remind myself that Maxon still wanted me here. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if I was eliminated soon. After being hopeful the first few days, I just felt lost now. I kept telling myself I had to stay strong. This was just a test, and it was one I was determined not to fail.

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><p><strong>Just the opening chapter, going over some of the things that I have been sure was going through America's head. We will have some Maxerica next chapter :) (Those who already followread my stuff know I am OBSESSED with those two!). Don't worry, I have love for Aspen as well!**

**I'm going to try to update fairly often. Would you guys rather have longer chapters or more frequent updates? Let in know in a review or PM me. I also want to stay as true to the One as I can be. I really can't wait for it!**

**I hope this opening lived up to your expectations! **

**Stay sweet! ;)**

**-Holls**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another Chapter! :D**

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><p>I didn't really know how long I had been sitting in the garden. I was just starting to get cold. I wiped one side of my face, removing some of the fallen tears. I had to calm down before I went back inside. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.<p>

"You'll catch your death out here," a voice murmured from a few feet away. My blood ran warm, and this ethereal feeling washed over me. I turned, looking at the boy who had stolen my heart. Maxon's sleeves were rolled up, the top two buttons of his shirt carefully undone. His hair, normally so neatly kept, was messy and falling into his eyes. The faint light of the moon washed his hair out, making it look almost white. He was absolutely breathtaking. How did I ever think he was simply okay looking? It was because I had been blind then.

There were no words for the relief I felt at seeing him. When he saw my face, his own became marred by a frown. He walked over to be swiftly, sitting beside me on the bench. His fingers, a touch I had craved for days now, bushed away the fallen tears on my cheek. They left a line of heat, and the ache I had been experiencing vanished. He looked nervous and worried, his hands fidgeting with themselves. He ran a hand through his hair, bushing it out of his eyes. He was adorable when he was worried.

"I just needed to breath," I responded. I was elated to see him, but there was a little awkwardness between us. One, I didn't want him to worry about me. I knew he had enough to deal with without adding my problems on top of that. Also, I hadn't seen Maxon alone since he told me I could stay four days ago. Those four days felt like an eternity.

"There's a difference between breathing and crying."

I met those warm brown eyes, and I wanted to drown in them. These past few days, I had craved him like a drug. I was an addict, trying to come off my addiction. What was he thinking? Did he regret sending Natalie home? Did he want to take back what he told me? Had he moved on with Kriss? Why hadn't he tugged his ear?

"Why were you crying, America?"

What was I suppose to say? That I felt alone and overwhelmed? That I was scared that it was too late for us? That I wanted to tell him everything? That I was going crazy with jealousy and it was like a part of my heart was chopped away every time I heard or saw them together?

I use to tell him everything. I didn't keep any secrets from him. I was honest with him.

That was the America I wanted to be again.

"I'm not sure it's something you would want to hear," I whispered quietly. He took my hand in his own, brushing his thumb over the knuckles.

"America, if it concerns and matters to you, then I want to hear it, no matter what it is."

I took a deep breath. I had to trust him, and part of that was trusting his reactions.

"I'm in over my head. Nobody besides the staff has acknowledged that I exist these past few days. I wanted to take my meals in my room but I knew that would have just made it worse. The King hates me, and I messed up. I'm not sure how to deal with the consequences of that. I've never had to do anything like this before. I'm a five for crying out loud! I don't know how to handle things diplomatically! I haven't seen you, and I get you have to spend times with the others, I really do. But it drives me insane, and I'm trying to be proper and keep my emotions in check which is hard. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, and I'm worried and scared-"

"Over what?"

"I…" I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I had to slow down. "I just don't want to mess this up. I want you, Maxon, and I'm scared I've already lost you. I want to be here, and I don't want to do something stupid to ruin things. Because we both know that I have an awesome record for doing stupid things."

I looked down, a blush stealing my cheeks. I heard a chuckle, and Maxon's fingers came underneath my chin, lifting my head so he could see my face.

"You do tend to do stupid things, but it is one of the things I find so enchanting about you. I never want you to be sad, America. I owe you an apology."

"What for?" I laughed weakly.

"That you feel alone. I've been trying to come see you. My father has made it difficult for me. He's been very adamant about it. He only lets me out of meetings when I make plans with the others or he suggests it. I didn't want to push him after the events lately, so I thought some space would be best. I didn't want you to get hurt, and it ended up happening anyways," he muttered sadly.

I gave his hand a squeeze and nodded my head, understanding completely. I'm sure he didn't hate spending time with the others, but the fact that he still wanted to see me instilled a flare of hope.

"I understand," I whispered, elated that he worried over me. However, my worries vanished at another thought. I was worried about him as well. "How are you?"

I hoped he knew what I meant. It had only been a few days since I treated the lashes, but it felt like years. He seemed to be moving fine, and I wondered how often he had covered up what his father did to him.

"I'm fine," he said gently. "Worried about me?" he added teasingly.

I nodded my head, a small smile on my face.

"I should think a member of the Elite would always be concerned with the welfare of her prince, your majesty."

Maxon laughed, the first true laugh I heard from him in a while. He gave my hand a squeeze, and his face absolutely lit up.

"There's the America I know!" he grinned. He paused, looking down at the ground. "I like you, just the way you are. I know you've been under a lot of scrutiny, and I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Remember, we started off as friends, and that will never change, America. I care deeply about you, and I want us to be honest with each other."

Us. There was that word again. I could tell Maxon was a little guarded, but he wanted me to try. And so I would. I would do anything for him.

"Speaking of your father, he said something to me the other day," I began. I explained how his father had threatened me. Maxon's brow furrowed, but he remained silent as I finished explaining.

"Are you worried about the report, after what my father said to you?"

I nodded my head and sighed. "I just don't know how to handle it, Maxon. It's not like I was raised to be a diplomat. I know what I did was wrong, but the idea behind it was something I truly do believe in. I want to see the poor have an opportunity to better themselves. I want people to stop being hungry, and I want people to have freedom to choose. How do I apologize for it without going back on what I believe in? I don't want your father to be any angrier at me than he already is. He already alienates me enough as it is."

Maxon rubbed my knuckles again, looking thoughtful. I wondered what he was thinking, but I didn't want to push him. If I wanted him to trust me with his secrets again, I would have to earn it back.

"You should never go back on what you believe in," he muttered quietly. "I want those same things too. Help will come, I promise. He can't send you home, as much as he wished he could. I have that choice, and I want you here. I think he's a little threatened by you."

"By me?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile, but Maxon sounded perfectly pleased by the thought.

We sat there together, Maxon's thumb absent-mindedly stroking my hand. There was so much I wanted to tell him- about Aspen and Nicoletta- but I was afraid. Did I think Maxon would ever hurt me? No. Did I think he'd send me home? Yes. I was warring through everything. How could I tell Maxon about him without something bad happening? I regret what happened while Aspen was here. It was dangerous, and it never should have occurred. I was trying to choose between the two of them, and now, I had. It was Maxon, and it would always be him. Would Maxon understand? Would he be able to forgive me?

I shuddered at the thought.

"Are you cold?" he asked in a worried tone. I shook my head, but he stood, pulling me up with him.

"It's late. We should both try to get some sleep."

My face slid into a frown. I hadn't talked to Maxon in so long, and I wanted to. I wanted every precious minute that I had with him. The best way I could describe it was a puzzle piece. He was my other half, the piece that fit me perfectly. Maybe that was the difference between Maxon and Aspen. Aspen fit, but the picture didn't line up. With Maxon, it did.

His face melted into that heart wrenching smile that I loved so much, and Maxon pulled me to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I did the same. I buried my head into his chest, missing that smell that was so uniquely him. His face was buried in my hair, and for a second, life was perfect. There was no selection, no King, no report…There was just me and Maxon, just a boy and a girl, holding one another.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too, darling. Don't worry, we'll find a way."

We walked back into the castle, hand in hand. I noticed that Officer Meadow was gone, and I wondered if it was to check on me. I opened the door to my room, and Maxon stood just on the other side of the jam. He reached up, placing his hand on my cheek. I placed my hand over his, our fingers threading together. I closed my eyes and leaned into it, thankful for the small touch. I didn't realize how special it was until I was without it for a few days. I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was faced with a lifetime without it. Maxon leaned forward, and I felt the softness of Maxon's lips on my forehead. It was brief, but I felt the wall between us dissolve just a little.

"Goodnight, America. Sleep well."

I shut the door, resting against it once it was closed. I put my pajamas back on and climbed back into bed, a small smile on my face. For the first time since the report, I didn't fall asleep with tears.

I had hope.

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><p><strong>So, I try to respond to everyone's reviews, but for you guests, I will do that here! :) <strong>

**winterprincess: I think its important to have those thoughts. I mean, I would definitely not be okay after going through what she's been going through!**

**So I think I'm going to do a balance on updating. Chapters about this length, but every few days. I'm trying to finish up another story, and I will post more one-shots under One Night with the Prince. That sound good?**

**You guys are amazing, and you really know how to make a girl feel special. I love hearing from every single one of you. Thank you! If you have any ideas, I'd loved to hear your theories. I've got 95% of this plotted, but it wouldn't hurt to talk about what we think the one is going to be like! ;)**

**Also, I do like Aspen...but not with America. He will be in the story, but I hope you guys will like what I have planned :)**

**It might be a couple of days before I update again, but I hope this Maxerica helped!**

**-Holls :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Miss, wake up."

I blinked sleepily, and Lucy's gentle face came into view. I had slept through the rest of the night, with no tossing or bad dreams. I was still exhausted from my nightmare and being up so late, but I felt a lot better than I had the previous mornings.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked in concern as I rolled out of bed.

"I woke up once," I admitted, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Anne held out her hand, and I took it as I slid out of the bed.

"One of the guards mentioned you were in the garden last night with a certain young gentleman," Anne said as I stretched. She began making my bed with Lucy, both looking like they were waiting for answers.

"Maybe," I said with a small smile. "But you can't listen to palace gossip you know," I added with a wink. Lucy clapped her hands in delight, but once Anne shot her a look, she calmed down.

"Well, at lest you look like you got a little rest. Rumor has it that something decently big is going to happen today, so we are going to need extra time to get you prefect," Anne explained. They ushered me into the tub, and began the boring process of getting me ready for the day. They put me in a lovely mint green day dress, pinning my hair at the nape of my neck. I wore the bracelet Maxon gave me, and a simple set of pearl earrings. My make-up was flawless, and I loved that I still looked like me. It reminded me of how I looked when I started the selection. It made me feel more at ease.

"Go before your late," Mary whispered from behind me. I nodded my head, heading down the stairs. I saw Celeste on the way down, and she gave me a condescending look before flipping her hair and heading into the dining room. I had gotten a lot better the past few days at ignoring her antics, but they seemed half-hearted, like she knew I wasn't a threat anymore.

When I walked into the room, I saw that Maxon was in deep conversation with his mother. I wanted to catch his eye, but I saw that King Clarkson was watching me like a hawk. I put on my best smile, taking a seat besides Elise.

"You look radiant this morning, America. You look like you slept better," Kriss said in a kind tone. I smiled back at her. At least things between us were starting to thaw a little. The past few days all of the other elite avoided me like a bomb about to go off.

"I slept better last night, thank you."

I grabbed a pastry, nibbling at it. My appetite still wasn't back to where it had been, but the more that I ate the better I felt. The scrape of a chair made me look up, and Maxon stood, smiling at us. He caught my gaze for a moment, and he eyes softened at me.

"Ladies, this morning, you will all have the privilege of speaking with my mother. She wants the opportunity to get to know you better, and I would like that as well. She will explain the rest, as I have a very long meeting to attend to with the advisors," he finished. I detected a trace of annoyance in his voice, and I smiled even wider. His eyes met mine once again, his eyes sparkling in response. I gave him a nod of my head, as to tell him he would do great, and his eyes crinkled just a bit. Queen Amberly stood beside him, a warm smile on her face.

"We will just be having a little chat, so don't be nervous. Lady Kriss will be first, and then Ladies Celeste, Elise, and America will follow. Girls, please wait in the Women's room until you are summoned. Lady Kriss? Will you follow me?"

A twinge of hurt ran through my system as I saw Maxon's eyes follow Kriss out of the room. He looked at her with care and adoration. I wanted to tell myself that it wasn't the same way he looked at me, but maybe I was biased. I could be refusing to see what was so plain right in front of me. I looked down at my plate, sadness engulfing me. Was this how Aspen felt every time he saw me with Maxon?

"Lady America!"

I jumped in my seat, looking around me. The dining room was emptying, the others heading out of the doorway, save for me and King Clarkson. I stood quickly, giving him a quick curtsy.

"Are you deaf or simply choosing to ignore the King of Illea?"

"I apologize, your majesty," I countered firmly. I knew he was trying to ignite my temper, but he would have to try harder than that. "I was lost in thought. Is there something that you require of me?"

He looked at me like I was a bug, and only he could decide if I was insignificant enough to let go or if I needed to be squished.

"Follow me. I need to speak to you in private."

The King turned, and I followed him towards the stairs. We must have been going to his private office on the third floor. Before we got to the stairs, I saw Maxon waiting on his father outside of the large meeting room on the main floor, and he eyes widened when he saw I was with him. I tried not to look panicked, for Maxon's sake. Maxon always did a great job of covering up his emotions, but I was starting to be able to read him more easily. His eyes betrayed how he was really handling things, and right now, they were dilated in fear.

"Are you coming to the meeting, Father?" Maxon asked in a pointed tone.

"I will be in shortly, start without me. I must have a chat with Lady America first."

Maxon's face went rigid, and I could see the ghost of anger there.

"Perhaps I should tell the advisors we will be a little longer before the meeting will start so I can accompany you," he offered. There was an unspoken conversation in their words. The King's tone implied that he was in charge, and that we were going to play by his rules, not his son's. Maxon's was firm and insistent, standing up to his father on what he believed was right. They stared each other down, and I could feel the power radiating from both of them. I had never been so proud of Maxon than I was in that moment.

"I believe we have come to an understanding about your friend here, so there is no need to worry about that," he spat at his son. "You will start the meeting without me, or the terms will change. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Father," Maxon responded rigidly.

"Come on, Lady America. I haven't got all day," King Clarkson huffed as I followed him up the stairs. Maxon's eyes locked with mine, and he let the fear show through.

"I'll be fine," I mouthed to him. He nodded his head, the worry only increasing. He tugged his ear, and I gripped mine in response. I smiled, trying to assure him, and I turned to go up the stairs before I could lose my nerve.

Once I got to the top, the King was waiting for me, holding open the door to his officer with an impatient air. The guards quickly glanced down at me, their expressions devoid of emotion.

King Clarkson pointed at a chair, and I sat in it the way I was trained: Knees together, ankles crossed, back straight, and hands clasped in my lap. I wanted to seem regal and confident, even if I was falling apart on the inside.

"Shut the door, Officer Markson."

I heard the click of the knob, and the King began to pace in front of me.

"As you know, there will be a report tomorrow night, and you will have to respond to last week's egregious oversight on your part. Thankfully, we managed to cut off the stream just after you stated you wanted to get rid of the castes. It will be explained that it was rebel interference in the stream caused the interruption, and you will present a _valid_ reason for coming up with that insane idea."

Thoughts were warring inside my head. The people may have seen the book, but did that mean that I was cut off before I mentioned it? The King hadn't mentioned it, and the tabloids that Celeste had shoved in my face were vague on the matter, which I'm sure had something to do with the King. If they hadn't seen that part, it would mean the rebels would not have confirmation of the books existence, if that was what they were really after. I looked up at King Clarkson, to see him standing in front of me. I wasn't exactly sure what he was asking of me. His stance was firm and domineering, and I gritted my teeth, determined to prove to him that I was not weak and that I could do this.

"A valid reason?"

He looked at me with an absolutely hostile expression. He leaned down placing his hands over my arms on the armrests. The pressure was uncomfortable, but I kept my face perfectly blank. His face was mere inches from mine, and I could smell the mix of his breath and cologne.

"Yes, Lady America. You better come up with a reason for saying what you did, explaining it in a way to please me. The monarchy will stay, and so will the castes. It's what keeps this country running smoothly. You will remind the people of this. If it doesn't please me, I will ensure that you are removed from the selection."

"The only person that can dismiss someone from the Selection is Prince Maxon," I stated fiercely. He chuckled darkly, leaning back away from him. He grabbed my chin with his hand, tilting my head up to look at him.

"You've learned to put on a brave face, girl. You are getting smarter, aren't you? My dear, Maxon will never choose you, as long as I can help it. I told you not to make an enemy of me, Lady America. Displease me, and you will reap the consequences. I have more power than you can ever imagine. You are nothing but a silly little girl, a five, chosen to come here on a whim. No, I cannot dismiss you from the selection, but then again, I never said anything about sending you home."

His threat struck me, and I fought to keep my emotions in check. I knew I was shaking but I tensed my body, trying to overcome them.

"Keep that in mind."

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><p>I left King Clarkson's office, and I darted into my room. The minute I saw that my maids were gone, I locked the door and slid down to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself. I needed a minute to collect myself, to make sure I could handle walking into the ladies' room.<p>

What in the world was I going to do? Would Clarkson actually go that far? I hoped he was simply trying to frighten me into submission. Well, he succeeded on the frightening part.

I took a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror. I checked my make-up and squared my shoulders up. I could do this, I know I can. Maxon told me help would come, and I was going to trust him on that.

After all, trust goes both ways, right?

I walked downstairs to the ladies room, and I saw that Kriss and Elise were chatting quietly with one another.

"America! Where have you been?" Elise asked. I could tell by her tone that she had thought that I was possibly getting sent home. I knew things would start to get ugly the further on the competition went, but I wasn't going to let it affect me.

"I had a meeting with the King."

I took my usual window seat, opening the book I had been skimming through over the past few days. It was a history of Illea, but it went a lot more in depth that any of our school books it still left out the most important parts, like the facts I had learned from Gregory Illea's diary.

"A meeting with the King?" Kriss asked with burning curiosity. I didn't feel entirely comfortable talking to her about my situation with Maxon anymore, but I would have to tread carefully. I wanted to keep her friendship, as I never got to see Marlee anymore. Something just felt off to me now, and I hoped it was just the tension the last report had caused. On the inside, I was panicking, but they didn't have to know that.

"Yes, to discuss the report tomorrow night. My transmission got cut-off, remember? So I have to address that." Good. I was pleased with my cool and indifferent tone.

"That sounds intimidating," she grimaced. She sounded sincere, and I offered her a small smile. "What are you going to say?"

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly.

Our conversation drifted into more pleasant topics, such as how we celebrated Christmas with our families since the holidays were fast approaching. My family still ate a grand dinner on thanksgiving, but I learned that it was more an east coast custom that anything else.

Celeste came down from her chat with the Queen not too long after that, and Elise left the room. The chatter died down now that Celeste was in here with us, but Kriss offered me a small smile and went back to reading her book.

That left me time to think about what exactly I was going to do.

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><p><strong>AN: Another Chapter! I think I may have the next one up tomorrow night. You guys are absolutely amazing, and I can't thank you enough for your amazing reviews. I know I'm taking it a little slow, but you got to build up to stuff. Trust me when I saw that the action is about to heat up!**

**Please forgive any typos because I am editing in class. I hate to keep you guys waiting!**

**If you guys have any theories or ideas you would like the share, I'd love to hear them. Also, check out my One Night With the Prince One-Shots. If you are a Maxerica fan, they will make you smile. **

**PSA: KIERA READ MY SMUT ON TUMBLR AND I MAY HAVE HAD AN ACTUAL HEART ATTACK OVER IT.**

**I luv you all!**

**Please review!**

**-holls :D**


	4. Chapter 4

After about forty minutes of silence, Elise had come down to tell me the queen was ready for me. I walked back up to the third floor, almost just as nervous as I was when I was up there with the King. The guards gave me a smile this time around, tilting their head in the direction I was meant to go. I saw an empty door at the end of the hall, and walked in, stopping just as I was inside.

The room was absolutely beautiful. It was in pastel shades that reminded me of flowers, but it was also cozy and regal. Queen Amberly had brought the outdoors in. She was sitting on a pale cream couch, and she smiled at me. I curtsied, and she indicated that I should sit beside her. I took my spot, feeling more at ease than I had a minute ago. There was just something about the Queen that made you feel more comfortable. She knew what we were going through, so it almost made us kindred spirits.

"Last but not least," she said kindly. "I've been looking forward to speaking with you, America."

"Thank you, your majesty."

"Please call me, Amberly," she said as she reached to place one of her hands on top of mine. "I don't want you to be nervous. This is just so we can better get to know one another."

I nodded my head, grateful for the Queen's warmth after the cool hate I received from the King.

"So America, tell me about where you grew up."

I told her about Carolina and my family, what I did for a living, and she told me the same about herself. Talking to Amberly was easy, like a mixture of my family and Marlee. She seemed interested in my past, and truly cared about how things affected me. She told me that her family was farmers, and she had grown up leaning how to grow things.

"It was a big jump for me, coming as a four to the palace. I was always covered in filth from working in the fields, and I went from that to wearing ball gowns and being waited on hand and foot. Everything was just so overwhelming. I just couldn't fathom all the richness when I had grown up around such disparity. It's one of the reasons I work so hard at instituting programs for the lower castes."

I nodded my head, completely understanding her point. I looked at my hands, wishing I hadn't been so rash in my decision on the former report. Why couldn't I have kept my temper, and come up with an idea that was worth something? That could help people? She must have noticed my silence and guessed what I was thinking. The Queen cleared her throat.

"America, what you did on the report…you know that it wasn't smart, right?"

"I know," I whispered, not able to look at her. I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"Why did you do it America? You can be honest with me."

"I-I was angry," I paused and took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. "I was hurt and upset. I was mad at everything and everyone. I wanted to go home, and Maxon wouldn't let me. And I regret it. I was tired of the selection, and I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Getting my heart broken again," I whispered, feeling a small part of the weight I had carried lift. I had no idea what Maxon had told her about me, and I felt this overwhelming urge to let it all go. I wanted to take it all back: I should have told Maxon who Aspen was the first time we saw him. I should have thought about the consequences to my actions. I'd been so stupid, and now I feared I was too far in to change.

"Do you know why he wouldn't send you home?" I shook my head, wondering where this was going to go. "It's because he loves you, and my son is a stubborn man, just like his father."

I looked up at that, and the Queen's eyes softened. She took my hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"He's told me a lot about you, America. I don't know much about your past other that you came her with a broken heart and the little bit you've told me, plus what I have figured out. You are a sweet girl with good intentions, but you have a rash head. You love this country and the people in it, from the lowest caste to the highest one. You are compassionate and smart, and all the good things that Illea needs in a Queen are in you. Just like me, you had no idea of the intrigues and the things that are hidden here inside the palace. It is a game, America, and if you want to win, you will have to learn to play it."

Her expression turned serious, and Queen Amberly reached behind her, pulling out a very old, cloth-bound book.

"This is something that was given to me, and now I'm giving it to you. It helped me a lot, transitioning from a four to a one, and I think it will give you some guidance. It's not on the same level as the diaries, but it needs to remain a secret. I think you've learned your lesson in that, correct?"

I agreed and took the book in my hands. The cover was way to worn for me to read the title, and I started to open it, but the Queen rested her hand on the cover.

"Not here, take it straight to your room, and put it somewhere safe. You'll have time to read it later."

I smiled, clutching it to my chest. Maybe this was the help that Maxon was talking about.

"Thank you," I whispered softly.

"Now go," she said with a kind expression. "It will not do for you to be late for lunch."

I rose, bowing to the Queen, and quickly headed towards my room. The minute I got it in there, I locked my door. I had just a few minutes, so I sat on the bed and opened the book.

It was the Republic by Plato, which I knew was immensely old. Then, I noticed fresh writing on the worn paper. I examined the unfamiliar handwriting, and tears sprang to my eyes.

_My Dearest America,_

_This book was given to me by my mother shortly before my selection began. I, like you, had strong passions with a strong mind, but this helped me see the world in a new perspective. I see myself in you, and just know that I am rooting for you. Not only because of the good I think you can do, but for how much my son cares for you. You are a diamond, and all you need is to be polished. It is never too late to set things right. I have faith in you._

_-A.S._

Help did come, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Maxon and my father weren't the only ones that believed in me. That feeble hope grew even stronger in me. I wiped the tears from my cheek, and I decided to hide the book in the diary's old place. It had been safe enough there.

I walked down to lunch, almost happy enough to forget about the King's threats.

Maxon and the King were still in the meeting, so it was just the Queen and the other Elite for lunch. I ate a full meal for the first time in days, and I excused myself to head back up to my room. I removed the book from my hiding spot, anxious to start to read. Part of me wanted to wait in my bedroom just in case Maxon would stop by, but it was too pretty of a day. Although it was early November, there was a warm breeze blowing through my open window. If he knew me at all, he knew exactly where I would be on a day like this.

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><p>I spent all afternoon in the gardens, completely caught up in my book. Mary had brought a blanket down for me, and I lounged under a tree, the soft breeze stirring my hair around me. I was about halfway through, and the passage I was reading already had a crease in the corner where someone had marked it down. I had been doing the same throughout the book, my mind filled with thoughts. I tucked my falling hair behind my ear, reading once more.<p>

_Imagine that the keeper of a huge, strong beast notices what makes it angry, what it desires, how it had to be approached and handled, the circumstances and the conditions under which it becomes particularly fierce or calm, what provokes its typical cries, and what tones of voice make it gentle or wild. Once he's spent enough time in the creature's company to acquire all this information, he calls it knowledge, forms it into a systematic branch of expertise, and starts to teach it, despite total ignorance, in fact, about which of the creature's attitudes and desires is commendable or deplorable, good or bad, moral or immoral. His usage of all these terms simply conforms to the great beast's attitudes, and he describes things as good or bad according to its likes and dislikes, and can't justify his usage of the terms any further, but describes as right and good the things which are merely indispensable, since he hadn't realized and can't explain to anyone else how vast a gulf there is between necessity and goodness. _

This seemed eerily familiar to me, and I could see why Amberly thought it would be such a help. Sure, it was easy to say we should get rid of the castes, but what would that do? I shut the book after marking where I was and lay on my back, watching the wind and sunlight through the leaves.

Illea needed change, of that I had no doubt. However, there were some things that were good about it. What exactly did the rebels want? If they wanted freedom, was there a way to balance the raging beasts. Would anarchy cause just as much trouble as the monarchy? I was very naïve when it came to things like this, and I truly wondered what was going on that I didn't know about. I knew it was impossible to get everyone to agree on everything, but maybe, if given time, there would be a way to make our nation more cohesive.

I closed my eyes, my thoughts scattered as I thought about necessity and goodness.

* * *

><p>"America?"<p>

A soft touch and voice startled me awake. I pushed my hair off my face, sitting up. The sun was starting to set, and a slight chill had crept into the air.

"Did I miss dinner?"

"No, not yet. When you didn't come up, I came down to check on you. You are cutting it close though. We have to fix your hair," she added with a chuckle. I self-consciously patted it, feeling the mess of tangles and windblown strands. Mary offered her hand, and I grabbed the book. She helped me up, and after she folded the blanket, we walked back up to my room. My hair was a mess from where I had slept on it, but my face had received a little sun. I almost looked radiant, like I was glowing. In less than ten minutes, my maids had fixed me up, and I headed downstairs to dinner.

The royal family was sitting at the head table. The King and Queen were talking quietly to one another, deep in conversation. Maxon was looking down at his plate, his expression tense and anxious. When he heard me walk in, he looked up, and that tension melted away. He reached up, gently tugging his ear, and I tugged my own as I sat down.

The only other person at our table was Celeste, and she just raised her eyebrows at me. Kriss and Elise walked in just behind me, and we began to eat dinner. It seemed like everyone was tired from their day, but I couldn't help the smile on my face.

"You looked flushed America, feeling well?" Celeste asked.

"I was just outside this afternoon, doing a bit of light reading."

The Queen smiled at me, but the King looked like he was surprised I knew how to read.

"The gardens are lovely this time of year," Kriss acknowledged politely. I caught Maxon's gaze, and for just a second, it felt like we were the only two in the room. His eyes didn't leave mine, and I wanted to melt in them.

"Yes. Yes they are."

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><p><strong>guest reviews:<strong>

**Winterprincess: I hate him to. I feel like he has an interesting backstory, but the way he treats America...ugh. **

**sparklysparkle: Yes, I almost fainted because I was so embarrassed. I like writing smut, but I start giggling uncontrollably when it gets dirty. I just can't haha! Thank you :D**

**A/N TIME! I just want to say that the selection stories killed me, and I cried, and I am scared, and if Maxerica isn't endgame I will curl in a ball and sob, then go comfort my bby Maxon. **

**Next Chapter? We will see Aspen, and there will be Maxerica, AHHH! Might be a day or two. I'm working on more one-shots and finishing my PJO epic, so be patient with me. :D**

**I am a book nerd, and as soon as I read this book I thought of Plato. I had to read it for college, but I feel like its going to tie in nicely. So credit goes to the ancient dude for having amazing ideas.**

**You guys are amazing, and I love the love in this fandom. :D**

**Please leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi All! I'm so sorry it's been too long since I've updated. I ead the selection stories again, and let me just say I'm pretty excited. The sneak peek of the one actually lined up decently well with what I had planned for this story, so I've pulled a little of that in.

This chapter is extra long, and full of wonderful Maxerica goodness. I should update again tomorrow or the next day, so just be patient with me. School is kicking my butt!

I also apologize I didn't respond to the reviews last time. I think you are all beyond amazing, and you have no idea how each and every review means to me. You guys are awesome, and a part of the reason I love to write! :D

I put in a little reminder, so it would pick up fresh ;)

Happy reading. I'm editing this super late, so if I missed something, please forgive me!

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><p><em>"You looked flushed America, feeling well?" Celeste asked.<em>

_"I was just outside this afternoon, doing a bit of light reading."_

_The Queen smiled at me, but the King looked like he was surprised I knew how to read._

_"The gardens are lovely this time of year," Kriss acknowledged politely. I caught Maxon's gaze, and for just a second, it felt like we were the only two in the room._

_"Yes, yes they are."_

I blushed at Maxon's words, looking down at my plate. I saw Kriss stiffen, but she was polite enough not to make a rude retort. King Clarkson began talking about France, and how he would most likely have to make a trip up there soon.

I stayed quiet for the rest of the dinner, but I noticed that Maxon was sneaking glances at me while he talked to his father. As soon as I finished, I excused myself, heading back upstairs to my room. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, and I ran into someone.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered as the arms steadied me. "I need to pay better attention."

"Not a problem, Lady America."

I knew that voice. I looked up, right into the bright green eyes of Aspen Leger. His face was a perfect mask, just like when he broke up with me.

"Aspen, I-"

"I prefer Officer Leger."

I flinched away, hearing the hurt in his voice. That hurt was hidden behind a stony face, but I knew Aspen well enough to know better. The last time I had seen him, I was going home. He told me to wait for him, and he said he would give me time to choose him. I had to make him understand. I owed him that much.

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to say. I think you've made your answer clear," he responded in a cold tone. He pushed past me, rushing down the corridor. I couldn't call after him. Maybe eventually he would calm down enough that I could talk to him. It's not that I stopped caring about Aspen. I loved him. I would always love him. If things between Maxon and I didn't work out, if he decided he loved one of the others more…then maybe we could work on our relationship. I never meant to hurt Aspen. But I knew I had.

Maybe Plato had advice on dealing with boys. I had one who I needed to trust and trust in me, but there were things I was scared to tell him. Then I had one who hated me because I was honest about how I felt. I walked into my room, groaning in frustration.

I wanted to get everything off my mind, so I picked up my book. I lay on my stomach, twirling my feet in the air. My maids had come in, but when they saw me reading, I told them they could go do whatever else they needed to do. They said they needed to finish a new dress, so they lit the fire and left.

_Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the laws of the State always change with them._

I laughed, reading that line. Maybe that was why Clarkson didn't like me so much! My eyes ran down the page, and one line in particular caught my eye: _Musical training is a more potent instrument that any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul._

I glanced up, looking at the piano in the room. It had been so long since I had played it. I rolled out of bed, seating myself at the stool. I brushed my fingers along the keys, and I started a melody without really thinking about it. I became lost in the notes, a smile on my face. I felt like the old me, like the girl who played music and wasn't caught up in this mess. The song morphed into a new one, one I didn't play that often. My father called it my thinking song, and it was true. Something in the song always called to the depths of my soul.

I couldn't tear my mind from Aspen and Maxon. Like the beast I had read about earlier, I was trying to placate two sides of myself.

None of this would have ever happened if Aspen Leger hadn't convinced me I needed to enter this damned thing! He would have gotten drafted, and then he would have taken me back. I would have been happy with him, and by now, we could have been married! I would still be a five. Maxon probably would have married Kriss, and I would have laughed at the audacity of it on the TV screen.

It wasn't a possibility anymore. The past couldn't be changed. I wouldn't have fallen for Maxon if Aspen hadn't broken my heart.

Had I truly forgiven him for that? He did what he thought was best for me, and I understood that. He just never asked what I wanted. What if what was best for me was to be loved by him? He was being selfish and prideful, and he destroyed what we had. I knew he would be a good husband and father, and he was a good man.

He would always hold a place in my heart, but that place wasn't the same one it was. All because of a stupid, charming, loveable Prince.

I laughed to myself. Maxon was the complete opposite of everything I expected him to be. He was a good person, just as good as Aspen, but in different ways. He never cared that I was a five. From the moment I met him, he looked at me like I was a person. He believed in me, and he cared for me enough to forgive me for breaking his trust. He gave me a second chance, when I didn't deserve it.

Aspen was a good man, but I had decided who I couldn't live without. And if he truly loved me, he'd give me a chance to find happiness, even if it wasn't with him.

I needed to tell Maxon about Aspen. There was so much that I wanted to tell him, including thanking him for everything he had done for me.

A new melody rolled through my mind, and my fingers started to play it out. I like the sound of it, and I grabbed a pencil and some blank music sheets.

If music was the language of the soul, maybe it could tell Maxon everything I wanted to say.

* * *

><p>I had no idea what time it was when I wrote down the final note. I knew it had been hours since I had started, and I got up, stretching my back from sitting for so long. It was after ten, and I wondered why Maxon hadn't come yet. Was his father interfering? Did he just forget?<p>

No. He wouldn't forget. If he promised he would come, he would.

I changed into my shorts and t-shirt, wrapping my robe around me. I curled up on the lounge in front of the fire, patiently waiting for my Prince to come. I was watching the fire dance on the logs, and I wondered if Officer Meadow was outside my door tonight. My eyelids began to droop, and I decided I would shut them for just a minute.

Something warmed wrapped around me, and I didn't want to open my eyes. I felt myself being lifted, and a familiar scent filled me. I blinked open my eyes as I was laid down on my bed.

"Maxon?" I whispered groggily.

"Sorry, I'm late, Sleeping Beauty," he muttered to me. His hand was on my cheek, and I leaned into it. I was so comfortable, and his hand was so warm! "Get some sleep, we can talk tomorrow."

"No," I said as I grabbed his hand. "I want to see you."

He chuckled, and I felt the bed dip beside me. He grabbed my hand tracing a pattern on the back of it.

"You're half asleep."

"That means I'm also half-awake," I groaned as I finally opened my eyes. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from them. "Do you have to go?"

"No," he assured me. "I'm sorry it's so late. Father has to go to France to negotiate some trade treaty, and he told me I could stay here until I could act like a Prince should act. He was giving me things to take care of while he was gone."

I winced at hearing the edge in Maxon's voice. Apparently, he was as just as fed up with his father as I was.

"That's my not fault, is it?"

"Maybe," he said, a smile erupting on his face. "You did make quite a mess of things."

I heard his teasing tone, but I groaned, falling back into my pillows.

"You know what? I wish I could just start this whole thing over," I grumbled.

Maxon stood, holding out his hand. I sat up, giving him a perplexed look, but he didn't say anything. His eyes seemed extra bright in the firelight, and I decided to play along. I grasped his hand, and he bent down, placing his lips gently on it.

"I don't believe we have met. I am Prince Maxon Schreave, and who are you, my dear?"

I busted out laughing at his over formal tone. I pulled him on the bed, to which he easily fell on.

"America, my Prince, and I'm still not your dear."

"That so?" he laughed. "I thought you had changed your mind on that subject."

"I have, but that name has a lot of baggage associated with it, thirty-four to be exact."

"What would you prefer?" he laughed.

"Something you don't call anyone else, and it can't be corny!"

"So I take it baby and snookums is out the window?"

I nodded my head, attempting to keep the grin off my face. I sat up with my legs crossed under the covers, and Maxon was lying on his side below me. He had his head propped up, taking my hand with his free one.

"You are the only one I ever call darling," he admitted quietly.

"Really?"

His eyes met mine, and that pull that was so familiar intensified. He sat up, moving so his face was just inches from mine.

"Really."

His lips brushed mine, soft and hesitate, but so warm and full of admiration. I felt loved when he kissed me, even if he hadn't said it out loud. We fell back against my pillow, his lips molding gently against my own. It was absolute bliss, ecstasy, whatever you wanted to call it. My hands went to his shoulders, and I felt complete. When I was with Maxon, every trouble vanished. It was just me and him, and that was the beauty of it. How had I come to care so much for him in such a short about of time?

All too soon he broke away, turning us so we were both facing each other on our sides.

"I missed that," he murmured as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I couldn't stop smiling because I had missed him too.

"Well, I don't want to sound easy, but you are welcome to kiss me any time you'd like."

"Darling, I don't think anyone would ever accuse you of being easy."

I started to playfully swat him, but he grabbed my hand, kissing my palm.

"How have you been?" I asked him as I ran my fingers along his collar. The top few buttons were undone, revealing the smooth skin underneath.

"Busy, but better now. I always feel better around you."

I blushed and he reached forward, brushing my cheek.

"You are so beautiful," he said with a sigh. "There's been a lot going on. The trade agreement with France isn't going well, and the last rebel attack," he blushed, and I knew he was thinking of the time we spent together. He cleared his throat, "Well, it was quite unexpected. We suspect that there may be an insider at the palace helping them."

"That's stressful. Is there anything I can do?"

"Stay safe. Don't go out late at night anymore without a guard, please? If something ever happened to you," he trailed off. I nodded my head. I knew he was worried about all of us, and if I could do one thing to lighten his load, I would.

"Enough about me. What did my father say to you?"

I told him about the threat in the hallway after he had told me I could stay, and then I told him what happened in the office. I watched as Maxon's face grew angrier by the second. He sat up, running his hands through his hair.

"He threatened you?"

I saw the tense posture he had, and I crawled over to him. I placed my hand on his cheek, pulling his face towards mine. Maxon was so good at hiding how he really felt, but I was getting better at reading his emotions. I couldn't see the anger in his face, but his eyes gave it away. They looked the same as they did the night of the report and rebel attack: full of fear for me.

"I didn't want to worry you," I muttered.

"Sadly, you didn't tell me anything I didn't already suspect. I will not let him harm you, America. I won't."

I was so proud of him in that moment. Not for saying he would protect me, but for standing up for himself. Maxon did not deserve a bit of what his father did to him. I wish I had the power to protect him from it. I wanted to make him promise that he wouldn't let himself be harmed for me, but I knew that would fall on deaf ears. If I could save Maxon from the beatings his father had given him, I would have done it without a second thought.

I didn't know how to tell him that, so I just leaned forward and kissed him. I put everything I couldn't say into that kiss, and it left us both breathless. He looked surprised, but pleased all the same.

"Thank you," I stuttered against his lips.

"For what?"

"For being who you are," I told him firmly. He was a wonderful person, despite what he father told him. He smiled that smile that absolutely melted my heart, and he grabbed my hand.

"What are you going to do about the report?"

"Well, I have an idea, one your mother actually gave me."

"Really? How did the meeting with my mother go?"

I told him everything, from beginning to end. Maxon moved so he was sitting beside me as I talked. We leaned against the headboard, and he put his arm around me. Things were just so easy and natural with him, like breathing. I rested my head against his shoulder as I talked, while he played with my hand.

"She really likes you," he said as he played with my fingers.

"I like her."

"Do you want to take back what you said?"

I bit my lip, looking at our intertwined hands.

"No, I don't. I shouldn't have presented it that way, but I believe in what I said. There are good things about the castes, but the way it limits people is awful. How many more people are out there like my brother? People who are stuck with jobs they are terrible at? The education is horrible in the lower castes, and if we gave them a chance to learn, to better themselves, who knows what our nation could accomplish? I won't go back on what I believe in, and I believe that some things need to change."

"My father won't like that."

"I'm not going to go back on what I said just to please him."

"And I admire you endlessly for that," he explained as he kissed the top of my head. His fingers came to my chin, pulling me to face him. "You are the bravest person I know, America Singer. I have an idea."

"An idea?"

"The people love you, and I think that's what makes my father so angry. You are rocking the boat, darling," he said with a playful bump. I rolled my eyes, listening to Maxon as he explained this new idea. My eyes grew wide. He was saying everything that I wish I could say, with more confidence and eloquence than I ever could have managed. "How does that sound?"

"Like you are a brilliant man," I said, kissing his cheek.

"Ah, I know," he agreed. He brushed my side, and I flinched. He had touched my ticklish spot, and I saw the knowing look on his face. "Are you ticklish?"

"Don't you dare, Maxon Schreave!"

He grinned, a wickedly adorable light in his eyes, and jumped on top of me. I tried to squirm away, laughing the whole time. I made a feeble attempt to tickle him back, but he overpowered me. He towed over me, pinning my hands down with his own. The fire was starting to die down, but his smile could have lit up the room. He looked happy, for the first time in a while. He released my hands, leaning down towards me. My hand brushed his hair away from his face. I could feel the stubble on his cheeks, like sandpaper against my fingers.

"How do you do it?" he asked me in wonder.

He didn't give me a chance to answer. He leaned down, kissing me chastely yet reverently.

"It's getting extremely late, and we both have to be up in the morning," he explained as he slid from the bed.

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"I know," he said "I'm glad I got to see you."

"I'd stay up all night if it meant I got to spend time with you," I admitted to him. He motioned for me to lie down, and he pulled the covers up around me. I giggled. I hadn't been tucked in like this since I was a little girl.

Maxon leaned down, his lips just touching my forehead.

"Goodnight, America. Sweet dreams."

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><p><strong>Yay! Curious as to the idea Maxon had? Well it will come up next chapter! :D<strong>

**Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! I promised you another chapter, and I hope you really enjoy it. You all are so amazing, and I am so thankful for the reviews and follows/favorites I receive. You really know how to make a girl feel special. **

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><p>My maids out did themselves this time.<p>

My dress was a beautiful shade of purple. It was fitted on top, covered in rhinestones and sparkles. It flowed out at my waist, the bottom full of sheer and satin panels, almost Greek like in appearance. It hung just off my shoulders. It was demure and sexy, regal and classy, and I felt confident and beautiful in it. My hair was swept to one side in huge waves, delicately pinned back with pearl pins that matched the earrings I wore. My make-up wasn't overdone. It accented my features, and it looked natural. It was perfect for tonight. As I looked in the mirror, I fiddled with the bracelet Maxon gave me. I wore it for good luck, even if it didn't match.

"You look beautiful, my lady," Lucy sighed.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Anne opened it to find a guard standing there.

"Lady America? We are ready to escort you down for the report."

I nodded my head, and my maids gave me a thumbs up. I had practiced and practiced all afternoon, and they drilled me until it was perfect. I felt good about this, and not even the King could bring me down.

I walked to the door, taking the guard's proffered arm. It was one I hadn't seen before, and he smiled down at me. He was very tall, with black hair and blue eyes. I saw the other Elite waiting at the top of the stairs, and the guard released me a few feet away.

"Good luck tonight, Lady America. We're rooting for you."

He gave me the traditional bow, and I walked over to the other girls. Silvia had us gathered and ushered us down the stairs. We walked to the room the report was held in, and the royal family was already there. The King was talking to Gavril, and the Queen was speaking quietly to Maxon. He caught my eye as I walked in, and discreetly tugged his ear. I nodded my head, following the other girls to our seats.

"Are you nervous, America?" Kriss asked me.

"Not really," I said, smoothing my dress. After all the help I had received, I actually felt confident talking on screen.

"Oh I would be, especially since the King was so angry." I looked at her, and for the first time, I heard something in her tone. Her smile seemed forced to me, and her tone was almost mocking. "I'm sure you'll do fine, though."

I nodded my heart. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Celeste smirk. Elise just gave me a sympathetic look, but she didn't say anything. I knew eventually it would get ugly, but I had hoped we could stay cordial through all of this. It made me miss Marlee. She would have cheered and supported me through this no matter if she was still in the competition or not. I had hoped that Kriss would be the same, but it seemed she was going to play hard ball as well.

"Excuse me," I said as I got up. I just needed to get away from them, and clear my mind before the report began. I walked around the set, looking for the water pitcher. I spotted it, but before I could make it to it, a hand took a hold of me. I jumped at the sudden contact, a frightened squeal leaving me.

"Maxon! You scared me," I admonished him.

"I was trying to be discreet," he whispered. His hand ran down my arm to my hand, our fingers intertwining together. It sent shivers all over me. How could he make me feel so good with such a simple touch? "Are you ready?"

I nodded my head, his eyes locking with my own. His hand reached up, fiddling with the waves in my hair.

"Why do you look worried then?"

I debated on telling him. I knew he probably didn't want to hear about the other girls, but at the same time, I wanted to be honest.

"Just a lot of people hoping I will fail," I muttered.

"Well, there are also a lot of people that hope you won't, including me."

His face had my favorite smile, and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. His hand left mine to brush the bracelet on my wrist, and he leaned forward. No one could see us. We were hidden from the cameras, and everyone was up front getting ready to start. He wrapped his arms around me, placing a quick kiss on my lips. With that simple touch, all the fear went away.

"You look amazing by the way," he admitted as he pulled away. "Good Luck."

Maxon walked back around to his family, and my confidence slowly crept back in. I got my sip of water, and then walked back on stage. Gavril approached me, and I noticed that the King was staring pointedly at me.

"Lady America! Your interview will be a little longer today due to the broadcast getting cut short last week. Are you ready?"

"Yes," I told him, the confidence back in my voice.

"Good, you will go last again," he told me in a kind voice. I inclined my head and sat back down with the other Elite.

The Report started, and everything seemed like a blur. The King gave his update, mentioning that rebel interference had caused the broadcast to cut off last week, and then Gavril interviewed Maxon for a minute. Elise went first, speaking in that soft, placating tone that I suspected was just a front. Celeste went next, flirting heavily with both Maxon and Gavril. Kriss just spoke in that happy and carefree tone, but there was still something off in her smile.

Quicker than I expected my name was called.

I could do this. Maxon, the Queen, my maids, my father…they all thought I could do this.

And I would, for them.

I smiled, trying to walk gracefully as possible to meet Gavril. Maxon was sitting with his parents, and I caught the proud smirk on his face.

"Lady America! You look absolutely stunning this evening! I'm sure all of Illea would agree!"

I almost wanted to laugh because I noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes. Maybe Gavril was more on Maxon's side than the King's.

"Thank you, Gavril, you are too kind."

"Now last time we spoke, your presentation was interrupted. I believe that you had mentioned eliminating the castes as the project you wanted to pursue?"

I saw the King stiffen out of the corner of my eye, and I had a feeling that Gavril was suppose to refrain from mentioning that again.

"Yes, I did mention that. I was disappointed I didn't get to finish explaining. I never wanted the wrong idea to come across to the people or cause discontent. Such a drastic change would not be good for our country."

"Would you mind finishing explain your proposal?"

"Not at all," I replied with what I hoped was a charming smile. "Such a drastic change would be detrimental to our country, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't need change to become a better and stronger nation. Illea does need change. I would like to work towards a system that would instill the freedom that a caste-free system would provide. There are some good aspects about the castes. The castes were put in place in ensure order in our society after the war, which was a good thing. However, there are some detrimental components of the castes. I was to impose a caste transfer program. I'm sure we can all think of someone who would be better suited for a job outside of their caste. By instituting this program, we will ensure that the best citizens are doing the jobs that they will excel in, and if our people excel, then our nation will as well. We would institute an educational program in schools for all the castes that would allow them to learn possible skill sets outside of the one they are born into. For example, all children would have an opportunity to take an art and music class to see if they prefer that over, say, teaching or running a business. If they wish to apply for a different job, a test would be administered at a young age to see if the citizen has the talent and possibility to further their studies in that area. This would help eliminate people falling from their castes due to being unable to do the work assigned for it. It would improve the education of our citizens, thus decreasing the amount of poverty in the nation."

"I hate to sound cliché, but Rome was not built in a day. By moving too quickly, we can cause just as much damage as not moving at all. There are other programs, such a system of citizen representation in the government, that I believe would better our nation. These things will take time if they are chosen to be implemented, but they will ensure the continuing success of our country. There is a quote from a book that I read recently: "Excess of liberty, whether it lies in state or individuals, seems only to pass into excess of slavery." There is a balance that must be kept. We don't want to cause more problems by eliminating those we currently have. Funding will have to be collected, and that alone can be a very complicated process. I'm sure with the help of the royal family, we could find a way to make these ideas a possibility."

I took a deep breath, pausing for just a second to collect my thoughts and my courage. I glanced at Maxon, and he nodded his head, an appreciative expression on his face. I looked back, straight into the camera. Maxon had told me to speak my heart, and I was going to do just that.

"I grew up a five. There were times my family was hungry, and I worked to help keep us afloat. I've seen bad times, but I know that I am more blessed than others in our nation. My namesake stood for something in the old days: hope for a better future. I want to instill that hope and pride in our nation again by pledging to make it better. I will fight for what is right, and I want to put our citizen's best interests at the forefront. I love Illea, and I will do anything to ensure that we become a stronger nation."

It was silent for a moment. Gavril looked at me, a pleasant smile on his face.

"What a very articulate and well-thought presentation, Lady America. Thank you for taking the time to share that with us again."

"It was my pleasure, Gavril."

I walked back to my seat, stealing a look at everyone else. The King's face was perfectly blank, and I suspected that I had said a lot more than he ever intended me to. I had accomplished exactly what I wanted with the Queen and Maxon's help. I didn't go back on what I believed in, and I would face the consequences. The Queen was beaming with pride, and she inclined her head just slightly towards me.

Gavril signed us off, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the cameras cut off.

I had done it.

"Wow, America, I didn't know you had it in you to sound so eloquent. You normally don't see that level of education from a five," Celeste implied.

"It is true, a lot of my education centered on music and art. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to master instruments, but my mother made sure we were never shorted in our education. It must be incredible difficult to pose and smile for pictures every day. I'm sure that was _incredibly_ difficult to learn."

Elise and Kriss snorted, and Celeste gave me a look of rage. She opened her mouth to bash me back, but she was interrupted by Maxon. He cleared his throat, and we all turned our attention to him.

"Ladies, you all looked wonderful tonight. I was very impressed with the grace and eloquence you all showed this evening," he commented. Although he was speaking to all of us, I knew he was referring to me. I couldn't erase the smile on my face. Maybe I was cut out for this after all. "In the morning, you will all being given an assignment, and upon its completion, I will make the final elimination before I choose my bride from the three remaining ladies. I hope you all get a good night's sleep!"

"Maxon! We're late!"

King Clarkson called out to his son, and I could detect the slight annoyance in his voice. Maxon's eyes met mine, and I knew that there would be no meeting tonight. I just discreetly nodded my head, and he smiled apologetically. He was proud of me, and that was all that I needed. The Elite began walking back towards our rooms, and I was last in line. We passed the Queen, who was speaking with Gavril. She acknowledged us as we passed, and she gave me a wink as I passed her. Silvia walked with us, explaining our schedule for the morning, but I couldn't concentrate on her words.

"Lady America?"

I was broke out of my thoughts, and I realized I had made it to the second floor. The other Elite were already walking to their rooms, and I was left alone with Silvia.

"Yes, Silvia?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, and I was sure I was about to be scolded for not paying attention. To my surprise, her expression softened, and her lips turned up into the smallest of smiles.

"That is how a future queen commands a room," she said curtly. "Now, get some sleep so you will be able to pay better attention in the morning."

I nodded my head, the smile on my face growing even bigger. I walked down the corridor to my room, and as soon as I opened the door, excited shrieks sounded.

"America that was wonderful, exquisite!" Mary explained as she took my hands in her own. "You did even better than you practiced!"

"You looked so confident and sure of yourself," Anne remarked.

"You looked like a Queen," Lucy said timidly. I held out my arms, pulling them all into a huge hug.

"I couldn't look or act like a Queen if it wasn't for the three of you. Thank you, for everything you do for me."

"You deserve it," Anne replied. "Now, I know you didn't get much sleep last night, so get to bed before you leave us with a train wreck to work with in the morning. We've got a new outfit for you tomorrow!"

I nodded my head, and my maids helped me get ready for bed. After they left for the night, there was a hesitant knock at the door. I went to answer it, and I saw one of the butlers holding out a silver tray with a sealed envelope on top.

"Lady America."

I took the letter of the tray, and the butler bowed and left. I shut my door, again wondering where my guard had gone. I shook my head. He must just be on a break, or they were switching shifts.

I climbed back into bed, ripping open the seal. I recognized the familiar handwriting, and I giggled in joy.

_I knew you would do great. I'm proud of you, my darling._

_Don't make any plans for tomorrow afternoon. I have a surprise._

_-Maxon_

I tucked the letter to my chest, curling up underneath the covers. I fell asleep, ready to face whatever challenge came tomorrow.

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><p><strong>Leave a review. I hope you all enjoyed your Valentine! ;)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So I apologize for the long wait. School has been a monster drag. I will try to update as soon as I can again. But in the meantime, here's an extra long chapter!**

**Thank you to the guests who reviewed. Winterprincess, you made my day with the last one! XD You are all AMAZING!**

**You guys are so awesome and so sweet. You have no idea how happy I am to see that you are enjoying this. I love talking to ya'll, and feel free to fangirl with me anytime! :D**

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><p>The morning came way too quickly for my taste. My maids came in with a bag, and I expected that it would be another Saturday spent in a dress. I was pleasantly surprised that they had made a top for me instead.<p>

"We figured it was time for a pants day," Mary explained with a grin.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much!"

They got me dressed, and I wore the more formal pair of pants I had been given. I put on the cream-colored top, and my hair fell in soft waves all around me. They kept my make-up minimal, and I looked in the mirror, feeling like me today.

It took all I could not to skip down to breakfast. The sun was shining bright outside, and it was still warmer than usual. Maxon had a surprise, and I was filled with anxious excitement over the new challenge today. I wanted to prove myself to the other girls. They still doubted I was back in this competition, and I was ready to prove them wrong.

I took my seat at the table, grabbing some bacon and eggs. Celeste was already at the table, looking mildly irritated. The royal family had not come in yet, and I wondered how late Maxon had been up.

Kriss and Elise came in together, but they stopped talking to each other the minute they saw I was already in there.

"Looks like we're on the same side now, huh?" Celeste muttered to me. I kept my face blank, trying to figure out what the heck was going on. The royal family walked in, and immediately a tension filled the room. King Clarkson went from scowling to a perfect kingly expression in a matter of seconds. Maxon was in Prince mode, and I couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking.

"Good morning, Ladies," he trilled. His expression was kind and accepting as his eyes raked over the girls, even me, but I noticed that his eyes went cold and steely when they met mine. Even his smile fell a little. The King was not happy with me.

"I'm very sorry, but I will be gone the next few days. I look forward to seeing the final three when I return. I know the best will make it through."

The King looked pointedly at me, and then placed a soft kiss against Amberly's cheek and left. I wondered how such a sweet woman ended up with a monster like him. They seemed happy, at least on the outside.

Breakfast was a somber affair. I could feel the other Elite's eyes on me like a target. Yesterday, they brushed over me like an animal left to die. Now, their gazes felt predatory. They thought I was a threat, and while that pleased me, it scared me as well. We had been on decent terms, and now, it felt extremely tense and lonely.

"Ladies, please continue to enjoy your breakfast," Maxon said as he stood. He caught my eyes, and his lips twitched just slightly. He looked at the others, trying to play fair. "A new challenge will be issued today, unlike anything you have faced before. Part of being the future Queen is to remember all the protocols and polices. Tomorrow after lunch, you will take a test that will cover everything you have been taught so far as an Elite. It will cover everything from foreign policy to etiquette. You will have today to practice and review."

"Where will you be today, Maxon?" Kriss questioned. Maxon's eyes softened just a bit, and it felt like I got punched in the gut. I fought to keep my face expressionless. I had just as much of a chance as Kriss, I had to remind myself of that.

"I will actually be in meetings all day, substituting for my father. After all, I will be King someday." Everyone laughed politely, but I detected the hint of sarcasm in his voice, which made me giggle harder. His eyes shot to me for the briefest second, and I tapped my ear. He kept his face blank, but I saw the spark of laughter in his eyes. "I should be here for lunch. If you have any questions, I'm sure my mother would love to help."

Queen Amberly nodded her head, and Maxon excused himself from the room. Talk broke out, excited and nervous. I, for once, was not worried. I had a head start. I had been studying all week.

I spent a few hours in the women's room, reviewing all the points of etiquette and foreign policy. I felt good. I remembered most of what I was reviewing, and the panicked look the others had on their faces made me feel even better. After talking to the Queen for a little while, I left to head up to my room. My maids were cleaning, and they touched me up for lunch. I didn't really need it, but they insisted that I had to look my best. They left to go eat for themselves, making plans on how they would help me review in the morning. I had a few minutes free, so I sat at the piano, playing the piece I had started writing last night. I made a few changes, adjusting the notes. I played the first few bars, pleased with the way it sounded. It reminded me of all my worries, but it also gave me hope.

"That's beautiful," a voice murmured from the doorway. Maxon stood against the door jam, in a suit, but he wasn't wearing a tie. His arms were crossed over his chest, a sly grin on his face. "I'd love to hear the rest of it."

"Maybe another day," I murmured. "I've got to finish it first." I started walking to him, that magnetic energy increasing with every step. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, I needed something to cheer me up after that meeting. Apparently, Father told them to be as ornery as possible with me. I would use a beautiful distraction after all of that. I was hoping that I would be able to escort you down to lunch."

"Ah, well, I don't know," I teased. "The others will talk."

"Let them," he whispered. His fingers intertwined into mine, his free hand cupping my cheek. We stared into each other's eyes, and I felt like I could see his soul in that moment. He was so full of good, so full of compassion and grace. Maxon looked like he wanted to say something, but he just planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"Come on, we don't want to be late."

We walked down the stairs, not saying much of anything. We kept stealing glances at each other, that old familiarity and trust building once again. I knew we had a ways to go, but it was beginning to feel right again. Before we walked into the dining room, he stopped in front of me, gently pulling on my earlobe.

"After lunch, in the Princess suite."

I nodded my head, and Maxon gestured for me to walk on in. He followed a few minutes after me, no doubt to avoid angering the other girls. I wondered if it was because he was trying to keep up pretenses, or if it was because he didn't want to upset them if they saw us together. During lunch, everyone made polite conversation. Kriss asked how the meeting went, and it picked up from there. I was trying to stay in a good mood, and I reminded myself that Maxon had a surprise for me. I wondered why we were meeting in the princess suite.

What if he wanted to send me home?

No, that wasn't it. He said he was proud of me, and the next elimination was going to be after the event. I shook the feeling and tried to take part more in the conversation. Maxon excused himself, and he tugged his ear right before he left the room. I felt my heart skip a beat in excitement. I decided to wait a few minutes. I had eaten quickly, and the others were still eating. After maybe ten minutes, I finally felt like it was ok to excuse myself. I walked up the stairs, finally making it to the third floor. I stood in front of the Princess suite wondering whether I should knock. I decided against it, easing the door open.

"Maxon?" I whispered. The room was barer than the last time I remembered it. Obviously, some work had been done here. Heavy plastic drapes hung on the floor, supplies littered everywhere. I could see that some painting had been done. The walls were now a plain white, ready to be covered in their chosen color. There were two streaks of color marring it. One was a perfect shade of blue, like the sky is summer. The other was a fair, dainty pink, like the carnations that grew in the garden.

I assumed pink was Kriss's favorite color.

I knew it was close. He had feelings for Kriss, that much was obvious, Celeste as well. I had a feeling that Elise would be the next to go. I was back in the running, but was I back on top? Suddenly, the fear of failure overwhelmed me. What if it wasn't enough and Maxon chose Kriss?

My heart broke at the thought.

"There you are!"

Maxon wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I quickly shoved all my bad thoughts in a drawer. I had to stay in the present. We felt the same about each other, that much was clear in the safe room. I just prayed it was enough.

I turned in his arms, a smile already appearing on my face. No matter what kind of day I had, Maxon's presence always made me feel better.

"I was beginning to worry you had lost your way," he said as he gently pecked my lips. The spark restarted my heart, healing the imagined fissure. I had hope.

"Well, I didn't want anyone to suspect us. I doubt I'm supposed to be in here," I admonished him. Maxon rolled his eyes, a loud sigh escaping from him.

"America Singer, wanting to follow rules. That's a first."

My mouth popped open in mock indignation, and Maxon just squeezed me tighter.

"Actually, you have two surprises today."

"Oh?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"I would love to," I muttered back. Maxon's cheeks were tinged with pink, but I could see the happiness in his eyes. I made him happy. "So what's the other part?"

"I know things have been rough lately, and I'm not oblivious to how the other girls are treating you. I thought that maybe you could use a break from all of that," he explained as he popped open the secret door. "Do you remember how to get down to her room?"

I ran the few steps to Maxon, throwing my arms around him. I kissed him, holding him to me with everything I had. He held me to him, and part of me never wanted to let him go. How did he always know?

"Thank you," I managed thickly. "You have no idea-"

"I know what it's like to feel alone, America," he admitted. He tilted up my chin, and his warm brown eyes stared right into mine. "I never want you to feel that way." He looked like he wanted to say more, but he cleared his throat, gesturing to the opening. "Go on, I'll see you in a few hours. Just knock on my door."

I nodded my head, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Our eyes stayed locked on each other, even as he shut the entrance for me. There was a weird expression on his face. He looked scared for some reason, but at the same time, exhilarated and happy.

I wondered if that's how I looked.

It didn't take long at all for me to make my way to Marlee's room. After a tentative knock, the door came flying open. Marlee was wearing a plain cotton dress, but she looked wonderful in it. She was glowing, and I knew Carter was the culprit.

"What did you think you were doing on the report!?" she snapped. "You could've been in a lot of trouble!"

"Nice to see you too. I missed you," I sighed once she had finished.

Her face melted into that bright smile I had come to love, and we threw our arms around each other.

"I missed you, too!"

She pulled away, examining everything about me.

"Come on, let's go outside! We've got so much to tell each other!"

She grabbed my hand and a blanket, pulling me through a series of doors and hallways. We came out at the back of the palace. I could see the workers all around, and a few of them smiled and waved at me. She pulled us under a huge oak tree. The leaves were turning color and fluttered lightly in the wind. Together, we laid out the blanket.

"You've lost weight," Marlee stated as we both sat down.

"It's been a rough few weeks," I murmured.

"Maxon's worried about you."

I looked up at Marlee, at the concerned expression on her face.

"He's worried?"

"Yeah, he said you needed a friend. He's worried you're not being completely honest with him when he asks how you are."

I was silent. He wasn't wrong. I was trying to balance doing the right thing with protecting the ones that I loved. It was such a delicate and precarious balance.

"Marlee, are you always completely honest with Carter?"

"I try to be. I don't like hiding things from him," she answered. "I haven't had to so far."

I looked down at my hands, tears springing into my eyes. I hated it. I hated the secrets and games. I wanted to be honest, more than anything in the world. I wanted to protect my loved ones, and I would never want to hurt Maxon.

"America, what's wrong?"

I shook my head. Would he understand? Would I lose him forever? Was he even mine to lose? She took my hands in her own, giving them a reassuring squeeze.

"I-I don't know what to do," I stuttered. I could hear how thick and desperate my voice sounded. The fear, the worry, came crashing back, drowning me in the onslaught. I looked up, and Marlee's fingers threaded through my own.

"You can tell me everything. I won't judge or tell. I swear," she added with a small smile.

So I did. I told her everything. I started with how Aspen and I first met, how we broke up, and I had come here by accident. I told her how I was heartbroken, and how I never wanted to marry Maxon. I told her how slowly, I began to fall for him, how he made me happy and I was starting to move on. Then, how Aspen had come back, and he regretted ever breaking up. I told her how I was warring between Maxon and Aspen, and how scared I was to fall for Maxon. I told her about Halloween, and how mad I was at him. I explained how hurt I was when he started visiting and growing closer to Kriss, and how Aspen was there, trying to comfort me in all of this. I mentioned the fight we had, and since he wouldn't let me go home, I would find a way. I went through everything: the report, my talk with Aspen afterwards, but I left out everything that happened with Maxon and his father. I would take that secret to the grave.

Marlee's face went through a range of emotions as I explained everything: shock, understanding, anger, happiness, sadness, all ending in what looked to me like pity. It was silent for a few minutes. I hadn't sobbed, but a few silent tears had fallen as I had spoken. I felt like a weight had lifted off my back. It felt good to be able to talk about it with someone I knew I could trust and wasn't directly involved.

"Who do you want America?" she questioned quietly.

"A part of me will always belong to Aspen, but I can live without him, Marlee. I want Maxon. I'm going to fight for him, prove to him that I am worthy of his trust. I-I," I took a deep breath, closing my eyes to steady myself. "I've fallen for him. He's got my heart now. I can't be without him."

Marlee smiled, and gave my hand a quick squeeze. "You love him, don't you?"

I nodded my head. I couldn't say the words yet, there was too much fear. I was so scared I was going to be heartbroken again, but I couldn't deny it any longer.

"Then tell him. Tell him what you told me. He will listen, I know he will. He's going to be mad and hurt, but if he loves you like I think he does, he will forgive you. What you've been through," she mused. "It's not an easy thing."

"You think so?"

"Love is forgiveness, Ames," she reminded me. "My mom always said there is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love."

I thought about what she said. I had forgiven Maxon for what happened with her, and for the way he acted. I was mad, actually furious with him over the whole ordeal. I didn't know if I could have forgiven him, and I didn't want to. After he explained things, I was surprised. I couldn't stay mad at him. I knew he had given his best effort, and he did everything he could for Marlee and Carter. I had forgiven when I thought that I never could.

I spent the rest of the afternoon talking with Marlee, about her marriage and how that was going. She seemed to be in perfect bliss, and I was so happy for her. After everything she had been through, she deserved that kind of happiness.

When the sun began to set, I walked back inside, feeling a lot better. We walked back to her quarters, and I waved to Carter, who was sitting on the bed.

"You can do this, America. We all believe in you. I always knew you would be the one," she whispered as she gave me a hug. "Don't wait so long to visit next time. Send word with your maids."

I nodded my head, turning to head back through the hallways. A guard was walking towards me, and I realized it was Aspen. Our eyes locked. He looked in pain, and I knew I was the cause of that. He turned to walk the other way, but I ran to catch up with him.

"Officer Ledger!"

He didn't stop, so I put on a final burst of speed. I grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face me.

"Aspen Leger! I know your mother taught you better than to ignore a lady!"

He raised his eyebrows, keeping his expression perfectly blank.

"We need to talk. And don't you dare say there is nothing to talk about!" I lowered my voice, and I saw Aspen's lips twitch in amusement. "I know it can't be now. There is a lot to be said, and I want to explain. We owe each other that."

His expression softened, and I heard him sigh in resignation.

"I know, Mer," he whispered. His hand reached for my hand, and I gave it a reassuring squeeze. We were still friends. He was one of my best friends, and he always would be.

"When?"

"Not here. I'll let you know, okay?" he promised. I nodded my head, moving past him back upstairs. I felt a twinge in my chest. I missed Aspen, even though I had made my choice. Aspen didn't make me feel nervous or anxious.

Before I knew it, I was back at the door. I eased it open, sliding back into the Princess suite. I looked at the colors on the wall, and the twinge grew into an ache. I needed to see him, to touch him.

And it wasn't Aspen I wanted to see.

I knocked on the door that divided the rooms. My heart was racing, and I felt like I was shaking. A soft voice called from the inside, telling me to come in. I walked in, and I stopped. I had never been in Maxon's room before. One wall was covered entirely in pictures. I recognized some that he must have taken, along with some prints from artists. They varied, from landscapes to people. I even spotted some of my red hair woven in there. I blushed. Maxon had put up some pictures of me. He had a desk and a huge four poster bed, hung in heavy, expensive drapes. The walls were painted in a forest green, and the sheets on his bed were a pristine white. It was simple and elegant, and so very him. A fire cast low golden light over the room. Maxon was sitting at the desk, writing something. His head was propped up by his hand, sending his blonde strands everywhere. He stood, reading over the document. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, so I just wrapped my arms around him from behind. I pressed myself against his back, inhaling that scent that was so uniquely him.

Nothing mattered, as long as I was with him.

I heard the paper flutter against the table, and he turned in my arms to face me.

"You okay?"

His fingers brushed my cheek, his face showing nothing but concern.

"I am now."

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><p><strong>BOOM! Hope you enjoyed! Leave me one pretty please :D<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Can I start by saying how sorry I am at how long its been? I had to second part of my CPA exam, and then I got vertigo. So the whole reading/writing thing is a little hard when the words are drifting on the page. **

**That being said, I'm sure I missed typos/grammar stuff on this one. Please bear with me!**

**I have to get caught up, and I am working on finishing my epic of a PJO fanfic, and then this and One Night will have my soul attention until the One comes out. Just bear with me as I try to get well and not flunk out of college! ;)**

**This is kind of a fillery chapter, but it has character building and info for later if you know where to look! ;)**

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><p>I leaned back on a chair, looking out the window at the stars starting to appear in the night sky. I was incredibly full from dinner. Somehow Maxon had gotten our favorites sent up, and it made me smile that he knew what most of mine were without even asking.<p>

"You are going to make me fat," I grumbled to him. He smirked at me and undid his tie so it was hanging on either side of his neck.

"Coming from you, I count that as an accomplishment."

I raised my eyebrows, giving him an offended look.

"You did say you were just here for the food," he reminded me. "All I'm trying to do is give my Lady what she desires." I grabbed my napkin and threw it towards his head. He caught it, but crumbs flew all over his face. I started laughing, and he regally brushed them off his shirt.

"Did you just attempt an assault on the Crown Prince of Illea?" he accused.

"I believe that Illea attacked me first. I was trying to defend myself," I said as I stood up behind my chair. Maxon stood, stalking towards me with a grace that I didn't know he was capable of. He was…tempting and sexy. I walked back from him, my back hitting one of the posts on his bed. He placed his hands on my shoulders, and I shot him a smirk. "After all, isn't it Illean law to make reparations for instigating the fighting. I seem to remember that in one of the articles on foreign policy., to show that we are a reasonable and merciful country?"

"Someone has been studying!" he said in mock surprise. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he grinned as he put his hands behind his back. He wasn't even touching me, but a thrill went through me. "I believe we should begin negotiations before things get out of hand," he whispered as he leaned towards my face.

"I think I've proven before I know how to handle threats when they get close."

He laughed, bringing his arms around me.

"Yes, I remember that quite well. I hope you know by now that I am not a hostile threat."

"I think you could if you wanted." He looked at my funny, and he moved back slightly. "That's not a bad thing. I just think if it's something important, you'd fight for it."

He smiled and brought my hand up to his lips. He brushed the compliment off, and I found myself wishing he would believe in himself more. He was one of the best beings I knew.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Not really," I ventured. A light sparked in his eyes, and I knew Maxon was up to something.

"Come on," he said as he grabbed my hand. He pulled me into the Princess suite, opening the secret entrance to the tunnel.

"Where are we going?" I whispered.

"You'll see."

He held a tight grip on my hand, and we went the opposite way I had gone before. We came to a dead-end, and I looked at him puzzled. It was so dark I could barely see.

"I forgot the flashlight," he muttered. He ran his hand over the wall, and eventually I heard a click. A portion of the wall slid to reveal a narrow stone staircase. Soft moonlight radiated down, from the top, and I could finally see Maxon's smiling face. He led me up the stairs, keeping a careful hand at my back.

"I use to come up here when I was a kid. I found it on accident one day. It had been blocked off a long time ago, but I asked for a way to keep it open when they last renovated. They agreed because it would be another secret escape in case the rebels invaded," he explained. "I think it use to be a playroom or something in the original building."

"Original?"

"This castle has had numerous renovations and additions over the years. As Illea became more solid and strong, so did its headquarters," he added with a shrug of his shoulders.

We finally made it to the top of the stairs, and I couldn't believe that all this space was just hidden from everything. It was a landing, obviously prior attic space that had been refinished but had been out of use for some time. Dust covered the floors, but you could still the beauty hidden underneath. Mirrors paneled along one wall, reflecting the windows on one side. A pile of wood sat in a corner, along with many chests and crates. I saw one that was particularly old, bound with a very worn lock. There was a piano sitting against the far wall. It was very old and reminded me a lot of the one we had back at home. I recognized the bars sitting on the floor.

"It's a dance studio," I marveled. "I've never even seen one this nice."

"Really? I just thought it was a pile of junk. These trunks have been here as long as I could remember. I wondered why the old piano was up here. Aren't most dancers fives?"

I nodded my head, my hand brushing music sheets on top of the chest. I could barely make out the writing, but it looked like a K and I had been worn into the leather. I shrugged it off and moved to the mirror, running my hands along the bar. "I never had the grace. I had a friend who was a dancer. She did ballet. I played the music for her performances a lot back in Carolina."

"What happened to her?"

"She married a three a few months ago, right before I came here. She teaches now, I believe. She was magnificent," I finished sadly.

"Why do you say it like that? Is she not happy?"

"It's just sad to think I'll never watch her perform again. She could have been famous. She danced with such passion and grace," I remarked. "It was beautiful to watch."

"I think you're graceful."

I snorted and looked up, admiring the way the moonlight made his hair look even lighter. Even his skin seemed slightly washed out in the pale light.

"You are just saying that because you have to be charming."

"You may have two left feet," he admitted as he made his way over to me. "But that can be taken care of with a good partner."

He offered his hand to me, and I looked around.

"Here?"

"Why not?"

I couldn't resist that smile. I took his hand, and he pulled me close. He had perfect form, and he began to lead my gracefully around the room. I did feel graceful in his arms.

"See? It just takes practice," he whispered to me.

"It takes you."

"Your grace lies in other talents. Every Lady has some form of grace."

"Like what?" I laughed. I couldn't name one thing about me that I considered graceful.

"The way you play your music. It's as beautiful as you are," he stated as he spun me out and back into his arms. I laughed, and he pressed his lips to mine briefly. "You show grace in how you treat others. Just the way you look at people is something to behold," he explained. My hands were on his shoulders, and his were at my waist. We weren't really dancing anymore; instead, we were just swaying to some unknown rhythm.

"What do you mean?"

"You see through it all, I guess. Through the ruses, the fronts. You appeal to the good, to the hope, in people. You are so smart. I've only been shown the world through rose-colored glasses. Maybe it's part of growing up, but I'm starting to see so much that I want to change, so much that needs to change in this country. You opened my eyes, and I'd consider that a kind of divine grace. You have no idea how much you have shown me," he whispered. "or how thankful I am for it"

"I've caused a lot of trouble doing that, too," I admitted quietly after a moment of silence.

"Like I said before, maybe what we need is a little bit of America Singer chaos. You have good ideas, America. The people believe in you. Your speech last night was amazing. You sounded so eloquent."

"I doubt that," I scoffed. I remembered the magazine Celeste showed me. I was at the bottom. One speech wasn't going to change that.

"Don't doubt yourself," he whispered as he grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers together. After what had happened in the past week, every moment and touch seemed more precious to me. "As much as I love having you in my arms, I did come up here to show you something."

He led me to the other end of the room, into a stone grotto. An iron staircase spiraled up, clinging to the stone walls. We walked up, and finally came to a small, circular room. I recognized it as one of the old parapets that was at the back of the palace. A stone widow opened up on the far side, and Maxon led me over to it.

It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The moonlight shown down on the gardens below, and the sound of water from the fountain drifted up to us. The wall that surrounded the palace was being patrolled by guards, and beyond that, lay an expanse of twinkling lights. Angeles was one of the wealthier provinces, home to a lot of threes and twos. With the stars and moonlight, it cast a peaceful scene.

The world was quiet, and it felt so small from up here. It reminded me of Christmas lights, of fairies and fairy tales. This was supposed to be the one of a lifetime, a dream come true, and I couldn't help but think that they might have gotten it a little wrong. They forgot to include the rough parts. All we got to read was the happy ending, but what about all the stuff in between or the ones that didn't have a happily ever after? I just looked out, taking in the scene that lay before me. A soft breeze fitted through the window, and I wrapped my arms around myself.

I was fighting tears, and I had no idea why. This simple gesture, taking me away from all the drama of the Selection, meant more to me than he could ever know. Maxon came behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder, and I placed my arms over his. In that moment, the enormity of how I felt for him finally hit me.

I was desperately and irrevocably in love with Maxon. And I didn't want to hide anything from him anymore.

"Are you okay, darling?"

I just shook my head. I knew what I should say. I should tell him. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to go back to Halloween, to before he grew close to Kriss, before everything happened with Marlee. I should have told him the minute I saw Aspen.

Was that my fairy tale, to be with Maxon Schreave? My mother had always told me that what was meant to be would always find its way.

I wanted so badly for it to have a happy ending. I knew he loved me, even though he had never said it out loud. But sadly, as my situation with Aspen showed, love wasn't always enough.

I had to believe it was, at least enough for him.

"Tell me," he pleaded.

"I can't. I can't put it into words, and every time I try…" I groaned in frustration. An idea came to me, and I realized that although the song wasn't finished, maybe for the time being it was. I couldn't finish the piece because I didn't know if I was going to have a happy ending or not yet.

"Let me show you."

I walked back downstairs, back to the old piano sitting against the wall. I slid the keyboard cover off, pleasantly surprised at the condition of the keys.

"I don't know if it works," he admitted.

I quickly ran my fingers over the keys, listening to the notes. It was out of tune, but not the worst I had ever had to play on.

"The song, the one you walked in on the other day?" He nodded his head in understanding, and I looked back down at the keys. "It's not finished yet, but I want you to hear it."

I began to play, letting the melody envelop me. I could hear the words through the music, everything I wanted to desperately tell him.

_I'm scared. You scare me. What if you leave me, decide you don't want me, just like Aspen? What if I give you my heart, and you choose them? What if I'm no good for you? What if the damage is done? What if we can never be together? What if you get hurt because I do something stupid?_

Then, it came to the breaking, where those fears that I had harbored didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was him and his happiness, which I wanted more than anything in the world. I loved him enough to want that. I loved him enough that I would do anything for him to achieve that. That's what I had to hold on to. I couldn't give up because of my fears. I had to conquer them, and hopefully he would choose me. It had to work out, it just had to.

Together, we could get through anything that came towards us. The song showed that strength. I let the last notes linger, that unfinished feeling still clinging. He wasn't saying anything, and I started to feel self-conscious. He came and sat beside me on the bench. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't muster the courage to look at him. He called me brave, but at the moment, I didn't feel anything close to it.

"I wrote that for you. I-I know it's not finished….I'm stubborn. I'm headstrong and irrational and-"

I didn't get to finish. Maxon had grabbed my chin, pulling my face towards his earnestly, his lips crashing into mine. I poured everything into that kiss: how much I needed him, how much I loved him, how hard I would fight for him. I could feel the same come from him.

"I heard every word," he replied softly. We turned into each other, our eyes searching one another. "I'm scared, too."

His fingers brushed along my wrist, along the bracelet he had brought back for me from New Asia. I had taken Aspen's button off, stuffing it in the bottom of my bag. I had made my choice, and I didn't regret it.

"I can't make any promises to you about what will happen. I know what I want, and that's you. It's always been you. I just-"

I looked down at my feet, and I felt his hands grip into my own. I wanted what was best for him, and I hoped and prayed that was me, even if I wasn't worthy of it.

_Tell him. Tell him now. Tell him how you feel._

"Maxon-" I began. My breathing hitched in my throat. It caught, like my mind could convince my body it was dead, that it no longer had the breath to speak the words. "I never wanted to hurt you."

He reached up, wiping a single tear away from my cheek.

"I know that. I never meant to either, and I know I did."

"How do- how do we- I want to fix this, Maxon. I want to fix this more than anything in the world."

He smiled that charming smile that I loved so much, and he tenderly touched my cheek.

"Me too. We made a royal mess of things, haven't we?"

I laughed, and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's not like I've done this before. All I know is that I can't stay angry with you. I forgave you the minute it happened, America. We both acted foolishly. We just have to be honest with one another, and that's something we can endeavor to do from this point on. The past is in the past. I know it's easier said than done, and the Selection isn't the best environment for it," he added with a snort. "You are still here, despite everything, and that means more to me than you will ever know."

"There is no place on earth I'd rather be."

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><p>I stepped into my room, easing the door shut behind me. Maxon had just escorted me back, leaving me with a lingering kiss. The day had worn me out, but I felt a lot better. My maids had laid out my pajamas for me, and I changed into them. I climbed into bed, wrapping myself into the comfort of my sheets. I pulled one of my pillows to me, and my fingers brushed something cool and metallic.<p>

A penny. There was only one person who would leave something like that under my pillow.

I got out of bed, walking over to the jar that once housed all the pennies I had given Aspen. Inside it was a small handful of them, just enough that no one would notice the bit of white paper showing at the edge. I reached inside, pulling out the small scrap of paper.

_Tomorrow. Be careful._

Aspen had left a note, albeit a very cryptic one. A part of me had been worried he would avoid this talk, but I think it would help closing things off with him. Like Maxon said, the past needed to be put in the past.

A shiver passed over me. Something felt off in my room. I looked around my room and bathroom, but nothing seemed out of place.

Maybe it was Aspen's warning that was bothering me. Was it just worrying like he normally did? The uneasy twinge was not letting up. It felt like someone or something was watching me, waiting for me to mess up. I could almost feel the king's breath or maybe a rebel's on the back of my neck, waiting to catch me in a mistake. I walked over to the fire and tossed in Aspen's note. I stood there for a moment, watching the tiny slip of paper burn.

I would not let anyone, even a king, bully me into doing what they wanted. I had to figure out a way to get him on my side or to at least tolerate me again. It was the only way to keep Maxon from getting hurt, and I would be damned if he ever got hurt again because of me.

I was still me. I may have changed from the girl that lived in Carolina, but my core being was still there. I was still the five, and I would fight for the ones that I loved.

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><p><p>

**Hopefully that was still good! Thank you to all my wonderful readers! You guys are awesome, and you have no idea how much your support means! Feel free to fan girl with me anytime!**

**Leave something sweet? (If you want to, of course!)**

**-H**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi All. I am a terrible person for taking so long to Update. I have been sick, in the hospital and had more doc's visits than I can count. Please forgive me. I will have a lot more time to dedicate to this story now. Just be patient with me, pretty please :)**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I try to answer every one that I can, but lately my mind has been everywhere. If I didn't answer a question or something, do not hesitate to message me, whether on here or my tumblr. You have no idea how much your kind words inspire me. Thank you all sooo much!**

**I apologize for any typos I didn't catch! It's hard to read right now :P**

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><p>I wrote the last answer on my test, looking up with a huge smile. I was sure I had aced it, and I was the first one done. I walked up front, handing the test into Sylvia. She gave me a small wink and smile, and I left the women's room. As far as I knew, I was completely free the rest of the day.<p>

I had received no word from Aspen yet. All he said was tomorrow, but I had no idea when he would want to talk today. I had to find a way to busy myself. Maxon and the Queen were both busy until dinner. Some diplomat had visited, and they would be busy with him all afternoon. I had thought about going to walk in the gardens. It was chilly outside, but a bit warmer than it had been. I walked upstairs to my room. I was going to grab my coat and walk around the gardens for a bit. I just needed the sunshine.

My maids were not in my room. They must have been downstairs working. They were apparently working on a new dress for the dinner we would be having for thanksgiving. It wasn't a huge holiday anymore, but they still held a dinner. I grabbed my jacket, and I heard my bedroom door opening.

"Aspen?!" I whispered. He quickly shut the door, and put his finger over his mouth. He put his ear to the door, listening intently. After a minute or so, he pulled away coming towards me.

"You can't be in here. Do you know what would happen if you were caught?" I snapped.

"I know what I'm doing, Mer," he responded in a breathless whisper. "Do you want to talk or not?"

"Right now?"

"No, not here, not now. Mer, you are being watched."

"Watched? Watched by whom?" I sputtered.

"I think you know," he whispered.

"The King?" I mouthed. He nodded his head, and I felt my stomach fall in on itself.

"Meet me tonight, same room, at midnight, okay? They will be changing rotations then." He gave my hand a quick squeeze and darted back to the door. "Lady America, I believe your room is secure," he stated in an official voice as he opened the door. "Remember, if you need to leave the building, even to go to the gardens, a guard must accompany you."

I saw two guards pass by. They looked in my direction, and I glanced down, smoothing out my day dress.

"Of course, Officer Ledger. Thank you for inspecting my room. I think I will stay inside today."

Aspen nodded his head and disappeared. I threw my jacket on the back of a chair and flung myself on my bed.

The King was having me watched. I expected it, in fact, I had a feeling he was, but to have it confirmed sent a chill through me that I wasn't expecting. How much did he know about me? Had my letters to my father been read? What exactly was the king looking for? I assumed it was just something to get me out of the competition. If he knew of anything that had happened between me and Aspen, I'm sure he would have had me killed for treason. I'd never put it past him. It was becoming increasingly more important for me to tell Maxon about Aspen. I rubbed my forehead, a headache beginning to build behind my eyes. I rolled over on to my side, and closed my eyes. I didn't realize how tired or overwhelmed I felt.

Things were getting more complicated.

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><p>Dinner had been a somber affair. Maxon and the Queen both looked exhausted. They were remaining pretty tight-lipped about their meeting, and I didn't even try to pry into it. Maxon had come to my room briefly after dinner, only to tell me that we would have to talk tomorrow. He, along with his mother, Sylvia, and one of the advisors, would be grading the tests tonight. He looked like he desperately needed some sleep, but he said he would be fine. He gave me a quick peck on my lips and left to go meet them.<p>

I glanced up at the clock. It said 11:55. I threw on my robe and eased open the door. Luckily, my guard was not at my door, just like Aspen said he wouldn't be. I tiptoed out, moving as quietly as possible. I didn't encounter anyone in the hallways. It was eerily silent, and the only light was the moon light drifting through the windows.

I made it to the room, quickly entering and shutting the door behind me. It was pitch black like before, and I looked for Aspen. I walked around to the back of the couch, expected to see him crouching there, but he wasn't. I walked over to the window, looking out at the ground. Everything was washing out to silver in the moonlight. I stood there for at least five minutes, humming a tune to myself.

I heard the turn of the doorknob, and I hurriedly crouched behind the couch. The door creaked open, and then was quickly shut again.

"Mer, you here?"

I breathed a sigh of relief and stuck my head above the couch. Aspen came over to me, sitting on the floor.

"Sorry I was late. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't followed. Did you see anyone?"

I shook my head. The silence stretched between us, and I didn't know how to start this conversation off, what I needed to say.

"You could have left. You could have left, and you chose to stay."

I met Aspen's gaze, peering in to those green eyes that I had spent so many days and nights dreaming about. I nodded my head, and he closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch.

"I had to stay. I have another chance, and I can't mess this up."

"Another chance with him? Why him, Mer? Is it the money, the fame? Have they turned you into this prissy three?"

"That's your opinion of me? You think I've become some shallow royal? That's who you think I am now?" I questioned with rage. Aspen opened his eyes to look at me, and I saw the complete devastation in them.

"I thought you hated him; I thought we had a chance, that I could fix what I messed up. I thought you'd be happy that you were being sent home, and instead, you told me you needed time. I can't lose you to a man like him. How could you care for a man like that?"

"You don't know him like I do," I accused angrily. "You don't know anything about him, Aspen."

"I know if he's anything like his father-"

"He's nothing like his father," I snapped. "I was wrong about him, okay? I meant what I said on the report. Maxon is a good person, Aspen."

So I told him. I told Aspen everything. I told him how Maxon was willing to let me stay in the beginning, how some of the programs were started because of conversations we had. I told him about Marlee, how Maxon had intervened to save them. I explained to him about how he protected me from the King, but I left out the harm that had been done to Maxon. I talked about how kind he had been, how understanding, and how after everything I had done to hurt him, he gave me a second chance.

Aspen's face went completely blank as I talked. I finished, and his eyes were brimming with tears.

"He could give you everything I never could have. That's what I told myself. That if I let you go, you'd find a better life. Then I got drafted, and I could provide for you like you deserved. Did I ever even have a chance with you again? Do you even love me anymore?"

I looked down at my hands, fighting my own tears. I never wanted to hurt Aspen. I wanted him to be happy, but either way, I was going to hurt him. He deserved the truth.

"I do love you. I'm always going to love you, but you broke my heart. You left me, when you promised you never would. I was beyond shattered. I asked Maxon if I could stay so I could get over you because I couldn't bear to look at you, Aspen. It hurt too much. Maxon was kind and patient. He was my friend before it ever turned romantic, and he fixed my broken heart. I know you love me, and I understand why you did it. You did what you thought was best, but you never asked me. You didn't even consider what I wanted. It changed things between us, Aspen. We can't go back to what we were. It's not that easy. I…I do love you, but I don't know if I'm in love with you anymore."

He nodded his head, and he laughed harshly. "You know, I think I always knew that. I could feel it when I kissed you. You hesitated. Something was holding you back….do…do you love him?"

I nodded my head, once again not being able to speak the words. "He fixed my broken heart. He believes in me, and I-I don't deserve him." Aspen took my hand, our fingers intertwining together.

"You are wrong, Mer. He is the lucky one, trust me. I never thought there would be another man who deserved you, but I was wrong. I've been wrong on many counts. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you," I whispered as I gave his hand a squeeze.

"I love you, America. I lied when I said you wouldn't be a good Queen. I was so jealous of him. I was being so selfish. You are exactly what this country needs. You understand the people. You know what it's like to go without. You are compassionate and stubborn, and you love like no one else I know. You are beautiful and strong, and I will always be waiting for another chance, even though I don't deserve it. I want to be your friend, Mer. If that's what you need, space to figure this out and for me to keep my distance, then I will. I will take any form of you that I can get."

I looked up at him, and his hand stroked my cheek. Things felt so familiar with him, but that feeling that I had before the selection had started was gone. I knew he cared, but his touch didn't call to me anymore. The only feeling I got was that I wished it was Maxon's hands instead of his.

"You shouldn't wait on me," I explained quietly.

"As long as there is hope, I will. I'll just be your friend, Mer. I will not leave you again. I will keep you safe. After all I have done, it's the least I can do."

"And you'll be okay with that?"

Aspen met my gaze, and I could see the conflict in his eyes. He was accepting this a lot more calmly than I imagined he ever would. I didn't know if this was the best thing for him, but I was too selfish to let him leave me life completely. I needed him.

"Yes, Mer. I'm okay with that," he said as he gave me a one armed hug. He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it, and he led me to the door. "You need to go, before they realize you're out of bed."

"Aspen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for anything that's happened. I never meant for things to happen like this," I quickly told him. He brushed my arm with his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I know you didn't. I'm sorrier than you will ever know for what I've done. We'll talk again soon, I promise."

I nodded my head and slipped out of the room. I saw a flash of white at the end of the hallway, and I froze in place. I looked into the shadows, but nothing was there. I shook my head. I was just being paranoid. I walked back to my room, and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

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><p>My maids had me up earlier than usual. They wanted me to look my very best for this final elimination. Then, there would be three of us left, and Maxon would be making his choice. I was so much more nervous than I usually was. After making sure I looked perfect, they practically pushed me down the stairs.<p>

I spotted Maxon at the bottom of the stairs, talking to Gavril. I offered him a small smile, but he didn't return it. Something about the way he was standing screamed tension to me. By the time I had made it down, Gavril had walked away.

"Hey."

"Hello," Maxon replied gruffly. He refused to meet my gaze.

"Is everything all right? You look upset."

He finally looked at me, his gaze perfectly blank. His eyes, however, betrayed the emotion. They looked a little guarded and angry.

"I'm fine," he said stiffly. "Just had a long night."

"How late were you up grading the tests?"

"Past midnight. I actually came to see you, but you weren't in your room. Even your guard was gone," he pointed out. "Where were you?"

"I was just having trouble sleeping, so I took a walk around the palace."

"And the guard was with you?"

"Yes, I had a guard with me. Isn't that what you wanted, for us to not wonder alone?" I asked with a smile. I reached for his hand, but Maxon pulled his out of my reach. I stopped, brushing my dress to hide the sting of rejection. He straightened his jacket, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Yes, I want all the girls to remain safe," he muttered. "After all, one of them will be my future bride."

The way he said the words sent a chill through me. There was something about them I didn't like at all. He turned without another word, walking into the dining room. After collecting myself for a minute or two, I followed, and I walked in to see Maxon talking animatedly to Kriss and Elise. It was a complete turnaround from a few minutes ago. I sat down, trying to ignore the jealously bubbling up inside of me. I kept waiting for Maxon to look at me, but he was studiously ignoring me. I don't know what happened to make him act this way all of a sudden. The only thing I could think of was Aspen, but how could he know? I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like an outsider, like I was watching everything slip away again, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Finally, Maxon looked at me. I tugged my ear, determined to ask him what was wrong, but he just shook his head. I gave him an imploring look, and finally he gave in, tugging his own reluctantly. He cleared his throat and stood so he could address all of us.

"Ladies, after dinner tonight, I will make the final elimination. Tomorrow night, Gavril wants to have a special edition of the report to announce who the final three are. I will go into further detail with the final three elite once the elimination is over. I will be busy the rest of the day, but I truly hope you enjoy your afternoon."

Maxon bowed and quickly left the room. I stood up, intending to follow him to find out what I had done, but he was nowhere in sight. I dejectedly walked up to my room, hoping that Maxon would come to talk to me soon.

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><strong>Eeek don't hate my cliffhanger. What are ya'lls thoughts and theories? <strong>

**The next chapter will actually be from Maxon's POV I think. I'm going to change it up a little bit. Would that be something you all would like?**

****(I hope I will update more frequently now. Kind of depends on my test results and doctor's appointments). ****

**Please leave a review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So I wrote this while in the hospital basically, so I'm so so sorry for it taking so long! I meant to get it out a lot quicker, but things kind of got in the way. I did make it extra long, and I was going to leave you at a cliffhanger, but I trudged on.**

**I normally try to respond to all of the reviews, but I totally lost my place and I couldn't wait to publish this. You guys are all amazing, and you have no idea how much these reviews and your kind words mean to me. You guys seriously rock, and I am beyond thankful for each and every one of you!**

**I have to catch up on my reading of other selection fic, so I'm not ignoring you, I just had to put it at the end of my list.**

**I hope you enjoy :) Get ready for angst and some sexy :D Maybe? Yes? No? Perhaps?**

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><p><em>Maxon's POV<em>

I put the last grade on the final test, a huge smile on my face. America had scored the highest by far. Kriss was next, and then Celeste and Elise were tied. That gave me the option of who I wanted to send home, but it wasn't really a big decision. I knew Elise was my least favorite of the girls, regardless of what my father thought.

"Your father will be home Tuesday," my mother warned. "He phoned earlier this evening. Apparently France is not cooperating as we would have hoped."

My thoughts immediately turned to Daphne. Would she really be so petty to cause problems because I didn't return her feelings?

"Did father say why?"

My mother shook her head, reading over America's test with a smile on her face. "You know, she's worked really hard."

"Yes, she has," I sighed. All I wanted to do at the moment was see America. I knew she might be asleep, but I had to try. "I'm going to bed, okay?"

My mother waved her hand, and I decided to take the servants' stairs instead of the grand staircase. It was about twenty minutes or so past midnight. I knew America would most likely be asleep, but I couldn't wait to tell her that she had passed with flying colors. I walked down a hallway, and I stopped in my tracks.

America was emerging from one of the rarely used rooms. I swear she saw me, but I darted behind the corner. What was she doing walking around this late? Was she looking for me? What was she doing in that room? I was so confused. I peeked around, but America was gone. I tried to tell myself that I was imagining it, that it was just wishful thinking, but I knew better. A second later the door creaked open, and the guard from her province stepped out. Leger, I thought his name was.

My stomach dropped. Was America seeing him, doing the exact same thing that Marlee did? Anger swelled within me. I had given her another chance, and this is how she repays me? I always knew America had something wild in her; it was one of the things that I loved best about her but this….it was too much.

_Don't assume. You don't know that anything has happened. They could just be talking. They were friends back in her province._

The rational, not jealous side of me tried to see reason, to see all the possibilities that could explain this. I wanted her to earn my trust, and she was working on that….

Maybe I needed to learn a little more about Officer Leger.

* * *

><p>-America-<p>

I was sulking. I knew I was sulking.

I had laid on my bed, picked up my violin, and tried reading. Nothing would work at distracting me. My maids were busy, so I didn't even have their good temperaments to help. I thought about going to the women's room, but they had all been happy enough that Maxon and I were fighting. The last thing I needed was to see Celeste gloating. I thought about going to see Marlee, but I didn't know if she would even be busy. Instead, I decided to go walk in the gardens. It looked like it was about to rain, but I didn't care. Honestly, I felt like I was in the middle of a storm anyways.

I walked out of my room, and I saw Kriss walking towards the stairs. She looked truly beautiful today. Her hair was in a braided up do, and the pale pink of her dress brought out her complexion.

"Kriss, you look lovely," I murmured as we both approached the stairs. She smoothed her dress out, looking at me with a peculiar expression.

"Oh, thank you, America," she simpered as we started down the stairs. It was quiet for a second, and I knew what she wanted me to ask. I also knew I didn't want to hear it. I just wasn't in the mood to play these games at the moment.

"Where are you going? Dinner doesn't start for another two hours," she pointed out.

"I just want to walk about the gardens, clear my head."

"Yeah, things looked a little tense between the two of you this morning. Did you do something to upset him?"

It was the same thing I was wondering. I don't know what brought on Maxon's cold attitude, but I hadn't done anything to lose his trust. I needed to tell him everything with Aspen, but I wanted to wait until after the elimination. I was a coward, but I couldn't bring myself to do it before then. There was no hiding the tensions between us, but I knew better than to open up with Kriss.

"I don't really know, Kriss, and I don't want to talk about it."

Kriss stopped in front of me, a disbelieving look on her face. I tried to move around her, but she just stepped in my way.

"Is there something you need to say?" I snapped. My patience was past thin at this point. I tried to take a deep breath, to calm myself, but Kriss might as well have been Celeste right now. In fact, she was acting exactly like Celeste. Maybe today was just bipolar disorder day or something.

"What's going on between the two of you, America?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because I thought I had him. I thought this thing was over. Sure, he may be more attracted to Celeste, but I would be a better Queen. You were the only thing that stood in my way, and you had kicked yourself out of the competition. But then he let you stay. I hear the same rumors the rest of the castle hears. You supposedly save him, and the king magically agrees to let you stay against his better judgment. Things were thawing between the two of you, and now they are ice cold again. Is that your game, to lure him in and then make him angry?"

"Kriss, I'm not playing any games with him."

"Sure you are, America. We all are. We want to win. I don't believe your story about the safe room. Something happened between the two of you, and I'm not going to let it get in my way."

"What exactly do you think I did?" I questioned her in a firm tone. Kriss deflated a little, looking a little scared at the moment.

"I think you did something against the rules to make him want you to stay," she rushed out. I felt my mouth pop open. "And now, things are getting rocky again. I saw him sneak out of your room the other night. I thought better of you, America."

"Are you suggesting…are you really accusing me of…" I couldn't finish. I was so mad; my words wouldn't even come out correctly. Kriss looked ashamed but resigned.

"I thought you were more like me, that we could be friends. That maybe we could get through this thing and help each other get what we wanted."

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. Part of me wanted to slap Kriss, but I knew better now. She may think I'm classless, but in that moment, Kriss's true colors were starting to show.

"You know, Kriss, I thought we were friends, too, but friends don't make baseless accusations out of fear. I'm sorry that you feel the need to act this way towards me, but let me assure you of one thing: I care deeply for Maxon Schreave, and I wouldn't want him to pick me unless I was the girl that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I want him to pick the girl he truly loves, and if that happens to be you, then congratulations. Jealousy isn't a very good look on you."

Kriss's face turned red, and she opened her mouth the snap a retort back at me, but she never got the chance.

"Am I interrupting something, ladies?"

Maxon stood at the bottom of the stairs, and our eyes immediately locked. Kriss turned around, the look of rage hurriedly replaced with a charming smile.

"Of course not, Prince Maxon! Just a little polite conversation before I met you for our movie date."

I had a feeling that was what she was hinting at, but I just rolled my eyes at her lies. Maxon's face remained blank for a second before he looked at Kriss. "My dear, why don't you head on down to the theater? I just have to have a quick word with Lady America, and I will meet you there."

Kriss kept the smile on her face, way too bright to be real, and looked quickly between Maxon and me. She nodded her head and gave him a quick curtsey, before leaving us alone on the stairs.

"I thought you were busy all afternoon," I accused.

"I had a private meeting, a meeting with the advisors, and then my mother. I only just left her, and I needed a few hours to relax."

"With Kriss?" I stuttered disbelievingly. I shook my head, my hands balling into fists. "Are you even planning on telling me what I have done to offend you, your highness?"

Maxon caught the sarcasm, and his blank face, the mask he carefully constructed, broke into something cruel and calculating. I never realized until that moment that Maxon looked like his father when he was upset or angry.

"There isn't anything you'd like to tell me? Nothing you are hiding from me?"

My stomach dropped. I needed to tell him, I knew I did.

"There are a few things I need to discuss with you, yes, but on the stairwell in the middle of the palace where even the walls have ears is not the time or place for it. Since the safe room, I have been honest with you, Maxon. I've meant what I said, every word of it."

Maxon's face went back to the mask, and he narrowed his eyes at me, like he was sizing me up. "So the guard you were with last night, who was it?"

"Officer Leger," I said in exasperation. I had nothing to hide from Maxon. Nothing inappropriate happened between Aspen and I since I made my decision, and nothing more would happen between Aspen and me. I wanted to tell Maxon the truth, now just wasn't the place for it. He nodded his head and looked down at his feet.

"Officer _Aspen_ Leger, you mean?"

The world stopped for a minute. My breath was long gone, and my body felt like it was getting dragged through the pits of hell. Maxon looked up at me. I knew he was waiting for an answer. He knew. I didn't know how he knew, but the hurt and pain was there in his eyes. I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. I was trying not to panic, to keep my composure. I bit my lip, and I nodded my head.

Maxon didn't say anything. He just turned around and left.

* * *

><p>I hadn't cried. Even in the gardens, where the grief and panic threatened to engulf me, the tears wouldn't come. It was almost like it was past that. Tears and sobs weren't enough to convey how I felt.<p>

I knew this was it. I wouldn't get my chance to explain, and I would be sent home. I kept my composure through dinner. Maxon hadn't even looked at me. I didn't eat much, and I could feel the other Elite's eyes on me. They knew I was dead, just like I did.

They were finishing up their dessert, and I halfheartedly participated in the conversation, just enough that they wouldn't say anything to me. The Queen had been very quiet, stealing glances in my direction, but I refused to meet her gaze. I felt like a disappointment, that I had let her and everyone who believed and counted on me down.

"Ladies," Maxon began as he stood up at the dinner table. I knew I should look up, that I should continue to play my part of potential future Queen, but I just couldn't do it, knowing that it was over. "We will adjourn to the women's room, and the scores will be announced there. I will make the final elimination, and then you will be free to go for the evening."

The chairs shifted back as the remaining Elite got up from the table. I followed them out, but I felt a tug on my arm as we entered the hall. Maxon was standing beside me, his finger on his lips. He pulled me into the conference room before any of the other Elite saw. He quickly shut the door, and I looked at him completely taken aback. He seemed flustered and unsure of himself.

"Stay in here. I will be back in a minute."

"What-"

"Just listen to me for once, for the love of God, America!"

All I could so was stare at him. He looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher, and then, he left the room in a rush. I fell back into a chair, twisting my finger together in worry. I knew he was going to eliminate me. Why else would be break me off on my own?

All I could do was stare at the clock. One minute passed…. Five…. Ten… then twenty. And still, Maxon had not come back.

Finally after almost thirty minutes, the door opened, and Maxon came marching in. He walked over to a wall and slid out a panel to revel a keypad. He quickly punched in a code, and a hidden door slipped open.

"Come on," he ordered. I looked at him with a weird look, staying right where I was in my chair. Maxon groaned in agitation and gave me a pointed look. "I'd rather not be overheard, you know."

Maxon wanted me to trust him. I got up and entered the tunnel as he closed the door behind us. He stormed past me, and I followed him down the tunnel. After a minute, the twists and turns began to feel familiar.

We were heading towards the dance studio, the secret room where he had taken me the other night. The light from the night shown through the windows, reflecting off the mirrors on the other side of the room. I stopped about halfway in, and Maxon began to pace in front of me. He was beyond agitated. He kept grabbing his neck, sending glances in my direction. He opened his mouth a few times, but nothing ever came out. I just stood in front of him, my hands clasped in front of me. If he was going to send me home, I wish he would just do it already. He finally stopped, looking at me with his hands on his hips.

"I know," he informed me with a harsh tone. I nodded my head. I expected as much. "Do you know what Kriss offered me when we were watching the movie?"

I shook my head, completely lost at this change in direction.

"She told me to kiss her, that she didn't want to wait anymore. She knew she loved me, and that's all she needed."

My stomach dropped for the second time today. I was jealous, mad, angry, and hurt. I didn't know what to say. The words were like a storm in my mind; I couldn't think clearly.

"Did…" I choked on my words, and I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Did you?"

"Why didn't you tell me, America? Why didn't you say something the minute you saw him?"

Then it was a flood. Everything came pouring out. I told him everything, every fear I had, everything I had told Marlee. As I told him everything, he took a few steps back. I could see the pain he was attempting to hide. I knew him too well to miss it now. He turned towards the window, his shoulders and back hunched over.

"Did anything happen between the two of you? Anything more than hugging and talking?" he questioned. I bit my lip. This was the real moment of truth. I could not tell him, take that secret to my grave.

"We kissed," I blurted. Maxon's frame sagged, and I saw his hands grip into the stone window. He laughed, a harsh and bitter one. I had to explain. "I thought I was going home, that you wanted Kriss, and I was running. I was scared out of my mind, and I acted stupidly. When you came to me, I told him we had to stop, that this wasn't right, that I wasn't sure who I wanted."

I reached out to him, but he pulled away, walking to the other end of the room. He turned to look at me, anger etched into his face.

"I trusted you, and time and time again, you have betrayed it."

"And I am sorrier for that than you will ever know. I meant what I said, Maxon! I have tried so many times to tell you, to explain everything. How was I suppose to tell you something like that after what happened to Marlee? What would have happened to Aspen if I had told you my ex, whom you knew I was still in love with, was now stationed at the palace? I was angry and confused and, my god, I'm seventeen Maxon! I was overwhelmed, and I know it's no excuse for what I did, but I promise you, I have not betrayed your trust since I chose you."

"You haven't chosen me, America! How could you say that after what you've done? Kriss kissed me, and you know what I felt? Nothing! I broke away before I could even properly kiss her, to even see if there was even a possibility of feeling like that towards her, to know if there was anything like that between us. All I could think about was you, and now I find out you have been kissing your ex-boyfriend in my home, behind my back? Did you ever even love me? Was it all a lie, America? Where you just trying to make him jealous?"

"You know I care deeply for you! I never wanted to hurt you, Maxon! All I want is you! I want you to be happy!"

"How am I supposed to trust you America?"

I looked at Maxon, the anger in me at a boiling point.

"Maxon Calix Schreave, I didn't plan this. I didn't ask him to come back. So what!? I kissed him. You were kissing the others at the same time, or did I just imagine you teaching Celeste a crash course in French the other night? How is it any more hypocritical? He was my first love, Maxon. I thought I was going to marry him, and then everything went to hell. I ended up here, and I met you-"

"So I was a mistake?" He retorted angrily.

"NO! I fell for you! You made me feel things I had never felt before! AND THEN YOU LEFT ME! You didn't talk to me, and I didn't talk to you, which is my fault. Aspen wanted to get back together, and I thought you wanted Kriss. You still do!"

"America-"

"No! Listen to what I have to say!"

Maxon raised his eyebrows angrily, but he kept his mouth shut.

"This whole Selection threw me off. I didn't think I could be a princess, and I was so scared that you would toss me to the side. Kriss _would_ make a better princess. She'd know how to act like one. Celeste is beautiful, and Elise had connections I could never hope to have. I was falling for you, and I was terrified that I was going to get my heart broken again. Aspen was safe, he was something that I knew, something familiar. I was so confused; I didn't know what I wanted, anymore! How could you tell me those things and then completely ignore me? You asked me to basically marry you, and then, nothing! I thought I was getting sent home, and he told me he wanted me back-"

"Then take him back America!"

"I don't want him!" I screamed.

"What do you want America?"

"I want you!" Maxon flinched back, disbelief on his face. "When I thought I was going home, he came to me, ecstatic that we could finally be together again, but do you know what I told him? I told him I needed time to get over you, that it wasn't that easy for me. Because the thought of losing you was ten times worse than what I had felt when he broke my heart. That's when I knew. I had been lying to myself, trying to believe I still hadn't made a choice in all of this. You asked me to choose Maxon, and I did. I could have left, but I don't want that. I wanted a chance to win you back, to prove that I could do this-"

"Why?"

I groaned in frustration. How could he not understand the position I was put in. How could he still doubt how I felt about him? I know it wasn't very lady like, but I hit the wall in anger. I turned on him, and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I fell in love with you! You are the one I want, the one I can't be without, and I don't give a damn if you are a Prince or not! I want you! I choose you!"

"W-what?" he stuttered, his eyes wide.

"Because I realized when I lost you that…that I had already made my choice a long time ago. Love is forgiveness, Maxon. I messed up. I messed up so bad that I thought there was no way you could ever forgive me. I still care for Aspen, and I was scared at what would happen to him. He's one of my best friends, and he is a good man. None of that matters anymore. Things can never be the same between us, and that's because I met you. I broke his heart because I couldn't ever live without having a chance with yours. I'm not in love with him anymore, and I know I am the worst choice for you. I'm stupid and irrational and stubborn. I keep messing up, and I've done everything wrong. You are right, you have no reason to trust me, and I am trying so hard to earn that back. I've got nothing more to hide from you, Maxon, and I don't want to hide anything from you anymore. I never did. I let fear hold me back, and it was the absolutely stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. But, you have to know how I feel. I've never, ever lied about that. I-I lov-"

But I didn't get to finish. Maxon stormed towards me, taking my face in his hands and crashing his lips to mine. This wasn't like our normal kisses. He was always so gentle and loving with me, but these were hungrier, more passionate. It was like he was trying to crawl inside of me, and to be honest, I wanted the same thing. I wasn't thinking anymore. My hands were acting of their own accord. I pushed his jacket from his shoulders, and he released me just long enough to let it drop to the ground. I felt my back hit the stone wall, and I was pressed between the cold stone and Maxon's heat. He broke away for just a quick breath, and I realized he was whispered something softly on my lips between our kisses.

"I love you. I love you, too."

His lips trailed down my neck and along my shoulder. At some point, the top of my dress had become unzipped, and the straps and fallen down, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to feel him against me, to taste his lips on my own. His shirt had become untucked, and I ran my hands underneath it, feeling Maxon's skin against my fingertips. He groaned against my neck, and his lips met mine again. He was consuming me from the inside out, and it was all I wanted.

He pulled away, laying his forehead against mine. Our breaths mingled together, panting slightly for lack of breath. I held him to me, like I would surely drown if I ever let him go, and he did the same. He planted soft kisses along my cheek, whispering tender words in between.

"I forgive you, and I understand. I know this whole process hasn't been easy, and I have behaved childishly. I believe you, America. If I want your trust, I deserve to give you the same." He cradled my face in his hands, his warm brown eyes lighter than ever in the moonlight. We were so close to each other in the dark that only a few precious inches separated our lips, and it was like an unstoppable force was pulling me towards him. "You are all I have ever wanted. You are the one, America. You always were."

"So you didn't bring me up here to eliminate me?"

"I thought about it. When I learned who he was, I was so mad. My mother walked in on me, and we had a talk. She actually spoke in your defense. She said this competition made girls do stupid things, and that people do crazy things when they're in love."

"She said-"

Maxon nodded his head, a small smile just touching his lips. His thumb brushed my cheek, wiping away the few tears that had finally escaped from my eyes.

"She said it was obvious. She knew you were the one after I stood up to Father."

"Then what-"

"You had the highest score by a good amount, darling. I told them that you didn't need to hear this. If they wanted to be the next Queen, it was important that they learn all the protocols and what it takes to run this country. Being Queen isn't just about looking lovely and wearing a crown, at least mine will not be. I spoke to them one on one, and then when it was Elise's turn, I sent her home. She and Celeste had the lowest scores, and there would never be anything between us, anyways."

"So I still have a chance?"

Maxon chuckled, kissing the tip of my nose and then my lips. "Of course you do. Something will have to be done about Leger, but I'm not going to do anything rash. I'd never hurt you like that. This isn't over, not by a long shot. There is still my father to contend with, but we will find a way, America. I'd do whatever it took to keep you safe. I love you."

His eyes lit up when he said that. I couldn't stop the grin on my face. I had heard the words before, but they had never sounded as good as they did coming from his mouth, in his voice.

"I love you, America Singer. I can't stop saying it. I love you, and I will always love you. I can't imagine a world without you in it. I've wanted to tell you that for so long, and I let fear hold me back as well. I promise you I won't anymore."

"Me neither. I want you, Maxon, for the rest of my life. I love you."

He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me. I breathed in his scent, finding comfort in it.

"Say it again, please," he whispered in my hair.

"I love you, Maxon Schreave. You are my best friend, the most wonderful man I know, and I love you more than there are stars in the sky."

Every time it got easier to say. He pulled my hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip and then the back of my hand. He pulled my strap up on my shoulder.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away," he murmured shyly. I leaned up on my toes, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek.

"I didn't exactly mind," I whispered as I was fighting a blush. I knew my cheeks were the same color as my hair. He cleared his throat, motioning for me to turn around so he could zip my dress back up. I pulled my fallen hair around to one side of my neck and did as he instructed. I felt his fingers brush the skin of my back, and he tugged gently on the zipper.

"Uhh, America, its stuck. I, um… I think I may have broken it."

I reached around, and it was down low enough that I knew the strap of my bra was exposed. I felt something get draped around my shoulders. It was Maxon's suit jacket, and he was biting his lip, fighting against laughing.

"This isn't funny, Maxon! Do you know the gossip that will spread!? Your father will have me kicked out!"

"I know! That's not what I'm laughing about."

"Then what in the world is so funny?"

He leaned forward, his lips brushing my ear. He may have never kissed a girl before me, but he didn't realize how dang sexy he could be without even trying.

"Blue, especially light blue, has become my favorite color lately," he whispered as he planted a kiss below my ear.

My eyes widened. I hadn't realized until that moment that the bra that my maids had put me in today was a sheer, blue lace, the exact same shade as my dress. I wasn't exactly thinking about that when Maxon's hands were running over the bare skin there.

"That so? What made that your favorite color? Kriss?" I teased him. He laughed, pulling me closer to him so he could wrap his arms around me.

"You are crazy," he whispered. "And I am out of my mind in love with you. Now, let's get you something decent to wear and back to your room before they start getting suspicious over where the Prince has run off too."

Maxon took my hand, and together, we walked back to reality.

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><strong>What did you think? Did you like how I did it? <strong>

**Please leave a review! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey guys! I can't begin to express how sorry I am that it has been so long! I am still sick unfortunately (thank you guys for the well wishes!), and I've had more doctors appointments than I can count. Throw that in with being behind on school work and having to go out of town, and I've just been a hot mess.**

**Just in case you are curious: I have something that's causing me to feel dizzy and nauseated 24/7. It's been like this for 6 weeks. I can't read or write for long without feeling sick or getting a headache, which is why I'm so slow writing :(**

**I'm sorry I haven't answer any of the last reviews. They were amazing, and each and every one made me smile more than you will ever know. I am so blessed to have ya'll as readers. Thank you for your kind words, because they make my day! :D You guys are beyond amazing! **

**Now, I know we are getting close to the One. I am going to try to write as much as I can for this story until then. It's unrealistic to think that I will finish, and I guess when the one comes out, I will see if ya'll would still like me to finish and whatnot. ****For those of you that read my One night with the Prince Story, that will continue on well after the one comes out! I'm working on a One-Shot now, but be patient with me because it's really hard to write when I'm dizzy and whatnot!**

**I've made you wait long enough. Please forgive any typos you find :)**

* * *

><p>-America-<p>

We stood off to the side, waiting for our grand entrance on to the report. Things were going to be a little different tonight. With the King out of the country until tomorrow, it was only the Queen and Maxon on stage with Gavril. I had no idea whether or not he knew I was still a part of the competition or not. That was something that I wanted to leave up to Maxon. He knew how to handle his father far better than I did. They wanted us off stage so it would be a surprise to the nation to see who was left in the competition.

"So, Prince Maxon, I heard we are down to our final three! Illea should have a new Princess by Christmas, I'd wager?"

"I have hopes that the Selection will be over by the holidays," Maxon replied with a charming smile. "I don't want to rush into things too quickly. I want to make a wise choice for our country."

"What do you think of the final three, Queen Amberly?"

"I think they are a wonderful group of girls, and my son will be able to choose a fine future Queen from them," she added with a sweet smile.

"Does the King already know who the final three are? Or is he part of the surprise tonight?"

I watched as Amberly glanced quickly at her son, but to the outsider, nothing would have looked astray. Maxon just gave Gavril a mischievously guarded expression. I wondered what that was about?

"He knows I have made a decision, but he has been very busy. I believe he will find out tonight with the rest of the nation," Maxon replied with a careful smile.

Celeste glanced back at me, but her usual haughty expression was not on her face. Instead, she just looked thoughtful. She must have caught it as well. Kriss wasn't looking at either one of us. She was just staring determinedly ahead, a smile on her face. They both looked absolutely lovely this evening, and even though I had every hope for Maxon and me now, it still scared me to death that they were a possibility.

"Well, I don't want to keep our lovely nation waiting any longer! Ladies and Gentlemen of Illea, the final three Ladies of the Elite!"

The spotlight turned on at the entrance, and Kriss led the way as her name was announced, a bright and shining smile on her face. Maxon stood and gave her a kiss on the back on her hand, and she took a seat beside Maxon. Celeste was next, and then finally, my name was called.

I was supposed to be looking at the camera. Maxon told me I had to work on winning the people, which I was already doing according to him. But I couldn't take my eyes off of him. For that second, there was no one else in the room with us. There weren't thousands of people watching us on their TV screens, the king didn't hate me. There was only me and Maxon, and the way he looked at he made me want to run straight into his arms. His eyes softened just a little bit, and I saw him raise his eyebrows slightly as he kissed my hand. I turned to the camera, smiling brightly towards it. I didn't have to fake that smile.

I took my seat beside Celeste, and Gavril began asking us questions. It was a very quick interview compared to the rest. It seemed tonight's report was simply for the announcement of the final three.

I breathed deeply as the cameraman signaled the end of the report. Thankfully, this one was not nearly as big of a disaster as the other two.

It didn't bother me nearly as much this time as Maxon spoke quietly to Kriss on the way back. In fact, as my, maids helped me get ready for bed and I took the vitamins we were required to take, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

Maxon loved me. That was all that mattered.

* * *

><p>-Maxon-<p>

"Your highness, you must get up!"

I always slept lightly these days. I guess it was the worry, but it was even more so with the increasing number of attacks. My personal guard, Warner, was grabbing my arm, pulling me out of the bed and ushering me towards the other side of the room.

An attack.

America.

"Where's the alarm!?" I snapped as he quickly typed in the code to the secret entrance.

"It's been disabled, sir. They must have disarmed it again. We are moving everyone to the safe room now. Do not worry, Prince Maxon," he assured me. I nodded my head and grabbed my robe from the chair beside the door. Warner shut the door behind us, sealing it so no one could follow. We started towards the safe room. We weren't completely safe in the tunnels, but they were a lot harder to navigate and break into than the castle itself.

"Give me the specs."

"It is currently 0200. We believe this was the attack that we had expected two nights ago. It looks like southerners, and they have entered through the west keep."

"The west keep?" That was highly unusual.

"Yes sir, it seems they tried a different tactic this time. They knew we had moved the bulk guard to the south wall. General Marshall has already moved against them. They entered in the west side, heading towards the southern end of the palace."

The south side of the palace was where the library was hidden. There was no way they could get into the library, I knew that, but it didn't stop me from being nervous. Ever since America had brought up the books and how she suspected that's what the rebels were after, I had been reading them steadily. It was difficult to do it around my father, especially after America's stunt. She was right; there was a lot in there that the country couldn't find out about. I was almost ashamed at the thought of Gregory Illea. For a man my father spoke so highly of, he just seemed power hungry to me.

We made our way into the safe room, and my mother turned anxiously turned in our direction. Kriss was standing next to her, a distressed look on her face. Kriss didn't handle these attacks very well. She didn't have the strength America had.

"Where is Lady Celeste and Lady America?" I asked as I turned to Warner. He was speaking with our head of security, Adams, and two other guards. After the last few attacks, I constantly worried over the safety of the girls, especially after the close call America and I experienced.

"Both should be coming with their guards, sir. They may have gotten held up or were forced to go to another safe room because of the lack of alarms."

I heard a commotion on the other side of the door, and a guard rushed in with Celeste right behind him. She looked a little shaken up, but she handled these attacks a lot better than Kriss. Celeste put up a tough front. Most people didn't know the girl behind the mask. My stomach dropped, thinking about where America was at. Why hadn't she come to the safe room yet? Did she have to go to another one, one for the maids? I looked at the guard that had brought Celeste in. I would never forget his face. Dark hair, green eyes….Officer Aspen Leger.

Part of me wanted to punch him in the face for putting America in such danger. How could he even risk her safety for a few hushed words and hurried kisses?! But I had a duty, and I promised America.

I quickly checked on Kriss and Celeste, but I couldn't stop thinking about America. Minute after minute ticked by, and she still didn't come through the door. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. My father was not happy she was still here. What if something happened to her? What if the rebels got to her? What if my father found a way to hurt her? Before I knew it, I was on my feet, pounding towards the safe room door. I started to punch in the code, but I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"Sir, what do you think you are doing?" Warner asked me patiently.

"I have to find her. I have to know she's safe."

"Sir, you can't go out there."

"Like hell I can't!" I snapped in frustration. I felt another hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see my mother. She had a concerned look on her face, etched in sympathy. She knew how much I loved America, how my choice was already made. She glanced at Warner, and then met my eyes.

"Maxon, we'll send some guards after Lady America," she murmured in a soothing tone. "She will be fine. She is a strong and smart girl."

I nodded my head. I knew they were right. They weren't about to let the crown Prince of Illea walk into a combat zone. I wanted to hit the wall in frustration. They didn't understand. That was my America, possibly in danger. When she becomes princess, I swear I might not let her out of my sight.

"I'll go check on her."

I looked up, but I didn't need to. I knew who said it. Leger was looking at me with nothing but pure honesty on his face. He had no idea that I knew who he was, that I knew what he had been doing with America.

I stepped back from the door, and Leger walked up to it. Warner punched in the code to the door, speaking with the guards on the other side to make sure the tunnels were clear. The door opened, but I grabbed Leger's arm. He looked at me warily, like he was scared of me. A part of me was pleased, the part that wanted to murder him and was going to be king one day. The other part of me was ashamed that he expected something from me that would cause him to fear me that way.

Warner had stepped back. The outer guards were close, but if I was quiet, they wouldn't be able to hear me.

"I know," I spit out to him. His eyes searched my face, the color draining slightly from his.

"Everything?"

I nodded my head, and for a brief second, I pitied him. I saw the flash of pain in his eyes. The anger that I had felt towards all but vanished. I couldn't imagine losing America, and if things had happened differently….

"Please," I murmured. "Please do whatever it takes to find her for me. You have no idea how much she means to me. I know how you feel about her, and I know you'd do anything to save her. I'm putting my faith in you, Officer Leger."

His eyes searched my face, looking for what I don't know. His was perfectly blank as he nodded his head. He took off down the hall, heading towards the upper floors to the girl's rooms.

This was one time that I would be grateful for them to be together.

* * *

><p>-America-<p>

I was in a deep sleep, but something seemed disturbingly off in my dream. Hands kept grabbing at me, starving ones begging for money and food I didn't have. I wanted to help them, but I simply didn't have the means. I tried to pull away, to wake up, but my body refused to do so. I smelled something metallic, and I swear I felt something actually tighten around my wrists.

I blinked my eyes open, and I realized I wasn't dreaming.

Something was being tired around my wrists.

I snatched my wrists away, rolling out of my bed and hitting the floor. Everything was still blurry from sleepy, but I knew I had to get away. I scrambled to my feet, leaning against the wall. Two men stood in front of me. Their faces were partly covered so only their eyes showed. Their skin was tan with dark eyes and eyebrows. These were southerners. My mind felt foggy, but a thousand questions raced through it. Where was the alarm? Why didn't my guard wake me up? We were always the priority…had these rebels killed my guard before he could get me out?

"Oh, don't be like that, sweetheart," one of them cooed as he stalked towards me. "We're not going to kill you."

I looked for an escape, but I didn't see one. Instead, I decided to stall. Someone had to be coming. Maxon would send someone, I know he would.

"How did you get in here?"

"Wasn't that hard, darling," the one by the door muttered. "No guard at all on your hall, and you are the only one down here."

"We didn't even have to disable the alarm. It was already done for us," the one approaching me sneered. "And with you sleeping like the dead…"

He was about a foot away, and I aimed a kick right in between his legs. Maxon would have been proud. He buckled in on himself, and I darted around him to the piano. The other took off after me. I just had to be faster than him. I ran for the door, praying my lightness would be my advantage. I was two feet away, when I went down.

I hit the ground, my head slamming against the floor. Spot danced in front of my eyes, pain flashing through my head.

"Stupid girl," a rough voice snapped from above me. He pulled me up, and something cold pressed against my neck. The knife had just enough pressure that I could feel the sharpness without it breaking the skin. I watched as the other man stood and pulled out a gun.

"I'm going to kill that little-"

"Oh no, we're not going to kill Lady America," he whispered against my neck. I turned my face away from him, and his lips brushed against my skin. I shivered in revulsion. His dark chuckle filled my ear as his friend walked over towards us. "I'm sure the Prince will do just about anything to get her back, and I bet she know where that secret room is. She sure seemed to know something on that report the other night."

"I'm not telling you a damned thing."

"Oh, we have ways of making you tell us," the man with the gun said as he sauntered up to me. He placed the gun on my cheek and ran the tip down my neck. "We said we wouldn't kill you, pretty girl." The tip continued over my collar-bone, down my chest and stomach. I was frozen in place by the knife, afraid to even move. "We never said we wouldn't have our fun first." He leaned forward, his lips brushing my cheek as he spoke. "We never said we wouldn't hurt you."

He pulled back, and my stomach dropped. I was scared beyond anything I had ever experienced.

"We're bringing her with us. The boss will be pleased with this. Let's get her out of here before more guards show up."

They threw some tape across my mouth and tied my feet together. The one that held the knife tossed me over his shoulder. I began to struggle. I had to fight, to waste some time. I hoped that if I made enough of a scene, enough noise, a guard would be more likely to notice me. I was screaming as loud as I could, but it was muffled because of the tape. The man who I kicked moved over to me, and he reared backed, hitting me in the face. He connected just below my eye, and it immediately began to water.

"Shut up, you stupid whore!" he laughed darkly. He grabbed my face roughly, jerking it so I could see him. "There's more where that came from, sweetheart. I can do a lot more to you than what you did you me. I can make it feel good for you, or I can hurt you, take your pick."

I closed my eyes, the one he punched screaming in pain. They walked down the hall with me, and I hoped and prayed a guard would see me. Maybe Maxon thought I was in one of the maid's safe rooms. It was a safe assumption. The guards always got us to a safe place first, and there had been a guard outside of my room normally, one Maxon put there himself.

Suddenly, a body crashed into us, and I fell to the ground. I tried to right myself, but I couldn't because of the ropes binding me. The sounds of a fight came from above me, and I tried to crawl away as fast as I could. I pushed myself towards the wall, to get some sort of cover and leverage to pull myself up. I made it to one of the alcoves when I heard not just one, but two gunshots go off. Had a guard killed the rebels? Or was it the other way around? I froze in place, and I let out a scream as a set of hands flipped me over.

"Shh, Mer, it's me. I've got you; you're safe now," a soothing voice whispered as he brushed the hair out of my face.

_Aspen._

He picked me up in his arms, carrying me to one of the secret tunnel entrances. He hurriedly punched in the code, allowing us to get inside. Gunshots and shouts still echoed all around us. I knew the attack was far from over, and Aspen was trying to get us both to safety.

As soon as he shut the door and made sure it was locked, he set me on the ground, and gently removed the tape from my mouth. His fingers brushed my eye, which was already swollen shut. Aspen had a look of anger on his face, one I had not seen many times before. Aspen didn't get angry much.

"Tell me what happened."

I told him everything as he cut the ropes from my hands and feet. He began checking me for injuries, but I just flung my arms around him.

"Thank you for saving me," I told him thickly. He hesitated for a moment and then wrapped his own around me. We held each other like that for just a second, and then he pulled away, helping me up to stand.

"Are you okay to walk?"

I nodded my head, but he wrapped an arm through my own. We started walked towards the safe room, but I noticed he kept a sharp eye out.

"It makes no sense that there wasn't a guard at your door. Mathison was supposed to be there tonight. It said so on the schedule."

"No one's been out there the past few nights," I muttered. Aspen stole a glanced at me, a look of deep concern on his face. "I just assumed since there had not been an attack in a while, that there was no need for guards."

"No one has removed them from the schedule, America. And the fact that the rebels claim they didn't disarm the alarm bothers me."

"We should tell Maxon all of this," I muttered.

"Yes, we should. He was absolutely crazed about where you were. He sent me to go find you," Aspen explained. "He uh… he told me he knows." I looked up at Aspen, and I noticed the uncomfortable look on his face. I just nodded my head; I didn't have to ask what it was about. "You were right about him."

"About?"

"He is a good man, America. I saw that tonight."

We walked in silence for a few moments, exhaustion creeping in as the adrenaline left my system. I wonder about the gunshots, and what happened to the men who almost kidnapped me.

"What happened to the rebels?"

"They are both dead, and they should be a lot worse for what they did to you," he ground out. We had finally made it to the safe room door. Aspen walked to it, punched in a code then did a series of knocks. A little slate opened up, and a set of eyes peeked through. They widened in surprise, and then the door opened up for us. Aspen offered for me to go first.

Maxon was pacing the floor, running his hand through his hair. He stopped, and our eyes locked. I saw the relief in them, the horror at my state, the worry he had been under.

He was alive. He was okay. I didn't realize I had been worrying about it until now.

We ran to each other, and Maxon crushed me to him. I buried my face into his chest, the tears I had hoped not to fall were finally pouring silently down my cheeks. His hand was buried in my hair, the other at my back, holding me to him like I was the most precious thing in the world. I wrapped my arms around his waist, reveling in his presence.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered so only I would hear. "I have a right mind to never let go of you."

"I wouldn't mind. You don't even have to."

He shifted me so I was at his side, with one arm still around me. He brushed my swollen eye, and anger flashed on his face. He looked like a king to me then, commanding and in control.

"I'm taking you to the hospital wing the minute we get out of here, and I don't want to hear any protests, okay?"

"Okay," I responded quietly. He looked surprised I wasn't fighting him, but I didn't care to at the moment. I just rested my head on his shoulder, and he planted a kiss in my hair.

"Officer Leger?" Aspen walked over and stood in front of us. I tensed for just a moment, but Maxon rubbed a soothing hand over my back. "I don't know how to thank you enough for bringing her back to me."

"It was an honor, your highness. She is a Lady worth saving," he murmured softly. A small, pained smile touched his lips, but it quickly vanished. "There are some security matters I need to speak with you about as soon as the attack is finished. It concerns Lady America and her safety, sir."

Maxon nodded his head. We all knew that this was not the time or place to discuss this. The possibility of being overheard was too great, and there might be enemies in the room. Maxon lead me to a cot that sat along the wall, and he sat down beside me in it. Somewhere in the back on my mind, I knew the other girls couldn't be happy with the amount of attention Maxon was giving me. Kriss had a relieved smile on her face, but her eyes and hands were too tense. Celeste, however, looked pleased. Huh. That was strange.

"Um, shouldn't you spend some time with the other girls?" I asked as I peeked at him from underneath my lashes.

Maxon brushed my cheek, the gesture so tender and loving I melted at the touch.

"America Singer, you are the love of my life, and I almost lost you today. I wouldn't care if my father was in this room. Right now, I'm not letting you out of my arms, okay?"

I smiled and laid my head on Maxon's shoulder. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, and I drifted back off to sleep in his arms as we waited until the rebel attack was over.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that. Hmm, the rebel attack seems a little fishy, right? Who could be behind it? What about Celeste?<strong>

**Please leave a review. You guys are the greatest! :D**


	12. Update- Please read very important!

Hi guys. I know we all hate these, but please take a minute to read this!

So I know its been months since I've updated this story, and there are a few reasons for that:

1. I am in a One hangover. Honestly, a lot that that thought was going to happen ending up happening in the One. I loved it, it was perfect, and I don't think I could outshine Kiera. I don't even want to attempt to try.

2. I've still working on getting better, and unfortunately, school has to come first. It sucks, I know.

3. I've got a few ideas in my head. For those that read my One-shots, found in my story one-night with the prince, you know that I have a medieval/renaissance/reign -style AU planned for Maxon and America. It will be a little smutty, but I think it's a cool idea. I've also considered writing a continuation from the attack on the castle onwards, like a sequel to the One, and fill in a few of the blanks.

These are the reasons, but I also have one that recently popped up.

This story has been stolen.

User Booksdrivemecrazy has copied and pasted from this story and made it her own, To be the One. I politely asked her to take it down, and she responded that this was her friend's idea and I shouldn't make accusations. The whole first chapter is the same as mine, and she even copied the title. She has been reported, but it's very disheartening. I understand if she got it from her friend and didn't know, but if someone came to you and presented that, you would take it down, right? *sigh*

**I'm not saying I'll never finish it, because one day, I might. But right now, my heart just isn't as into it. I hope you guys can forgive me, and I hope you will be pleased with my other work.**

I plan on updating the Reign AU sometime today. Please take a look at that.

Love you guys!

-Holls


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